by Kole Lawrence | Nov 10, 2025 | ADHD, Assessments, Counselling, Executive Function, Mental Health, Mental Health Disorder
Could ADHD Be Part of Your Story?
Have you ever wondered whether ADHD might be affecting your life, even though you were never diagnosed as a child? If so, you’re not alone. I’m Kole, a clinical psychology doctoral student completing my practicum at Alongside You, and I want to share why adult ADHD assessments and therapy might be worth considering, especially if you’ve always had this feeling like you were working harder than others just to keep pace with everyone else.
ADHD Often Gets Missed in Childhood
For a long time, ADHD was seen as something that affected “hyperactive little boys.” Teachers and parents looked for kids who were constantly in motion or couldn’t stop talking. But that’s only one ‘presentation’ of ADHD—there are many, many more. Many kids, like those with inattentive symptoms, experience things like daydreaming, losing track of assignments, or constantly leaving their hoodie in their locker at school (not just me?) These children often flew under the radar because they weren’t viewed as disruptive and their challenges were maybe not quite as obvious as others to those around them.
ADHD Often Gets Missed in Girls
There’s a gender factor, too. Girls and quieter children are more likely to mask their struggles, working hard to appear organized and capable (Holden & Kobayashi-Wood, 2025). Because inattentive symptoms are more common in girls, they’re often identified later—around age 12 instead of age 7 for boys (Young et al., 2020). Many women only recognize their ADHD as adults, sometimes after years of being labeled “anxious,” “disorganized,” or “too sensitive” (Kok et al., 2020). Understanding that ADHD can look different in women and inattentive types helps explain why so many people are discovering it later in life.
Discovering ADHD as an Adult
ADHD is a lifelong neurodevelopmental condition that continues into adulthood (Adamis et al., 2022). For many adults, symptoms shift from visible hyperactivity to inner restlessness, distraction, and difficulty managing time or focus (APA, 2022). You might appear successful on the outside but feel scattered or overwhelmed behind the scenes. Life transitions (think new jobs, becoming a parent, or relocating) can often unmask symptoms that were once manageable. Recognizing ADHD in adulthood can bring really huge relief for folks.
What an Adult ADHD Assessment Looks Like
If you’re curious about an assessment, Alongside You offers comprehensive Adult ADHD Assessments conducted by our doctoral students and registered psychologists. These include questionnaires, an in-depth interview about your life history (including childhood signs), and tests that assess attention and executive functioning. We may also seek input from someone close to you and screen for conditions like anxiety, depression, or sleep issues that can mimic ADHD. Whether or not the results confirm ADHD, you’ll leave with clarity and personalized recommendations for support.
Help Is Here
It’s never too late to understand your brain and find strategies that work. Alongside You provides both assessment and therapy for adults with ADHD-related challenges. Getting answers can be a really huge thing for people. And hopefully a step toward more confidence and self-compassion in what life throws at us.
If this resonates with you, reach out to our team at Alongside You in Ladner. We’re here to walk alongside you on your journey toward understanding and thriving with ADHD.
References
American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.; DSM-5-TR). American Psychiatric Publishing.
Adamis, D., Flynn, C., Wrigley, M., Gavin, B., & McNicholas, F. (2022). ADHD in Adults: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of Prevalence Studies in Outpatient Psychiatric Clinics. Journal of Attention Disorders, 26(12), 1523–1534. https://doi.org/10.1177/10870547221085503
Holden, E., & Kobayashi-Wood, H. (2025). Adverse experiences of women with undiagnosed ADHD and the invaluable role of diagnosis. Scientific Reports, 15, 20945. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-025-04782-y
Kok, F. M., Groen, Y., Fuermaier, A. B. M., & Tucha, O. (2020). The female side of pharmacotherapy for ADHD: A systematic literature review. PLOS ONE, 15(9), e0239257. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0239257
Young, S., Adamo, N., Ásgeirsdóttir, B. B., et al. (2020). Females with ADHD: An expert consensus statement taking a lifespan approach providing guidance for identification and treatment. BMC Psychiatry, 20, 404. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-020-02707-9
by Fiona Scott | Sep 6, 2024 | ADHD, Anxiety, Autism, Children, Encouragement, Guidance, Mental Health, Teens, Tips
So, it’s that time of year again… time to gather up your mental strength and prepare to dive back into another school year. However, for those of us with kids under the neurodivergent umbrella, it can be an additional challenge, or even a cause for dread.
Will the teacher ‘get’ your kid?
Should you go in giving them a whole lot of information about your kiddo, or will that start things off on the wrong foot?
How long until the IEP gets updated, and will it even be useful?
Is your kiddo going to throw a fit because this is the year the classroom stops using pencil crayons or they’re expected to learn square dancing in PE?
Support Your Neurodivergent Kid by Supporting Youself
Breathe. I mean it, BREATHE. There are lots of things that you can do to prepare for the new school year, and there are a whole lot of things that you can’t prepare for, and that tends to be where the panic sets in. And I get it – I used to take every ‘first day of school’ off work because I was so anxious about my neurodivergent kiddos that there was no chance of getting any useful work done. I want you to know, though, that this is just one moment in a whole lifetime for your kiddo. It may have huge significance for you, but they may not even remember it in 10 years’ time. So, let’s take a deep breath and adjust our perspective.
There are two issues in parenting a school-aged kiddo who is neurodivergent. One is helping the kid deal with all the challenges they encounter, which may be more complicated than for their more neurotypical peers. The second issue is dealing with your own feelings about your child’s challenges. It can be really hard seeing them struggle with friendships, or be down on themselves because they don’t understand the teacher when they’re explaining math. Our parental spidey senses are constantly on alert trying to anticipate, and avoid, potential problems. So, a lot of our energy is going to be on managing ourselves, and being that calm presence that our kids can rely on as a safe place.
There are a whole lot of things that you can do to help your children with the practical, emotional and social aspects of transitioning to a new school year. For example, along with my colleague Ruth Germo, we have a webinar on transitions to high school. There are a host of good resources out there on the internet, too. And these are the things that parents can keep themselves very busy with at this time of year.
However, this year, I’m going to challenge you (because you definitely don’t have enough on your plates already!) to take a moment a couple of times a day to:
- Stop
- Breathe
- Check in with yourself
- Feel your feelings
- Acknowledge the tough emotions
- Give yourself a little love and grace
- Recognize that ‘this too shall pass’
- Refocus on the long-term goals/plans
- One more nice deep breath, and …
- Back to it, big smile (you know the one)
Neurodivergent Kids Need Us.
In my humble opinion, one of the most underrated predictors of childhood success in schools is parents. Not because we read to them every night, or make them do their homework, drive them to endless stuff or advocate for them (although that’s all extremely important, too). It’s because we’re the safe space they come home to, and launch from. We’re there to commiserate and comfort them on the tough stuff, celebrate with them on the wins, you know, the ones that nobody else will ‘get’, remember their preferences and needs so that they always have the ‘right’ socks or remember to charge their headphones.
We’re their foundation. And if we don’t give ourselves the bare minimum of consideration and care, we won’t be as able to be that safe space for them. I know, truly, I know, they come first. All I’m asking is that you don’t always put yourself last.
If you find that you’re struggling with this, or any aspect of parenting your special needs children, consider reaching out for help. There are people who have lived experience and education who can understand and who won’t judge you for the fact that your kid has eaten white bread with marshmallow spread every day for the last 6 years because that’s all they’ll eat. We’ve been where you are. And we not only survived it, we can let you know that it is all worth it.
by Fiona Scott | Jul 26, 2024 | ADHD, Autism, Communication, Connection, Encouragement, Guidance, Mental Health, Tips
So, you have a friend who tells you they are ‘neurodivergent’. This might mean that they have autism, ADHD, Down’s syndrome, synaesthesia, Tourette’s syndrome… or a number of other conditions. Basically, it just means that their brains work a little differently than what is considered ‘typical’. This can mean that they are incredibly smart, creative and sensitive – but it can also mean that they may struggle with certain aspects of daily life. If you’re reading this blog post so that you can learn how to best support them and be their friend, read on!
What Should I Know About Neurodivergence?
It’s hard to describe the way in which sensory input can be overwhelming to people with neurodivergence. Not only can it make it even harder for the brain to process information through all the sensory “noise”, it can be really difficult to tolerate, to the point of being painful. You can help your friends by understanding what they need in order to deal with tough situations. For example, if you know that your friend is sensitive to noise, make sure they have their noise-cancelling headphones with them – make room in your bag if need be! Realize that even if they are doing something they love, they may need to take a break, go outside or to a quieter corner, chill out or regroup. You can always ask them what they need! If you’re going somewhere you know will be challenging, have a plan for if things get too much.
Don’t rely on your neurodivergent friend remembering something you told them, like what needs to be done before the party next week, or the deadline for the next academic paper. Especially if they are currently doing something else, stressed out, or coping with a lot of external sensory stimulation, they may converse with you and seem engaged, but may not be able to turn that input into longer-term memory. Ask your friend what works best to help them remember – is texting or emailing better? Do they want you to bug them until they put it into their Google calendars? They know what works for them best.
How Can I Be Supportive?
A lot of neurodivergent people rely on plans to help them to prepare for situations that might become overwhelming. So when plans change without warning, they can become really stressed out. As much as possible, try to stick to the plan and, if something happens to derail it, be prepared to do whatever will help, whether that’s getting a favourite “comfort” coffee drink, finding ways to make it easier, or even abandoning plans to try again another day. Again, don’t be afraid to ask the person what they need.
Neurodivergent people often feel really guilty about having to have people make extra effort for them. If you do have to go out of your way, do things differently from what you’re used to, or even abandon a planned outing, try not to make them feel bad. That doesn’t mean ignoring your own feelings – just try not to let your frustrations show too much. Guaranteed, they are even more frustrated than you are!
It’s wonderful to give choices, but when neurodivergent people get overwhelmed, sometimes it’s too much to have to make a decision. You can ask, “do you need me to make a decision for you?”, or maybe offer a choice of two options, rather than six. Obviously, this applies to questions like which takeout to choose … not which school to attend or career to pursue! Decision fatigue is also a real issue, which is why activities like grocery shopping can be really tough (as well as the overwhelming sensory stimuli). Sometimes, just being with your friend (known as body doubling) can help them to feel grounded enough to make progress themselves.
Learn More About Allyship
If you are interested in learning more about neurodivergence or how to better support your loved ones, please contact our Client Care Team to connect with an experienced clinician.
by Fiona Scott | Sep 12, 2023 | ADHD, Anxiety, burnout, Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, Depression
We’ve all seen articles telling us how to ‘indulge’ in self-care in a curated, Instagrammable, Pinterest-worthy way. You know, bubble baths and pedicures, mojitos with your friends and charcuterie boards. And that’s… nice for those who can manage it. But if you read those articles, and the very thought of all that is exhausting and makes you want to cry, read on… we’ve got you covered.
What is Self-Care?
Here’s the thing: Self-care means anything that you do for your own good. And, just like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, we can classify self-care in a pyramid.The bottom of the pyramid? Things like: taking your meds, brushing your teeth, getting out of bed (with or without getting dressed), making yourself eat. And if those are too much, try and think of the smallest thing that you could manage to do in your day, and prioritize. It’s probably more important that you eat something and take your meds than get dressed or brush your teeth. Of course, those things are important, too, but when you’re in crisis, you need to choose the absolute essentials.
Once you have the basics covered, the next most important thing is to add in some joyful things which will fill your cup. Are you rewatching all of Star Trek in order? (That’s mine!) Do you like to knit, crochet, paint or draw? Do you have ‘$20 in your pocket’ and enough energy to make it to the thrift store? Can you make it out for a Starbucks with a friend?
Self-Care is Necessary
If you find yourself struggling with self-care, try gently asking yourself why. Are you exhausted and in chronic pain and it’s just physically difficult to do tasks? Are you in the bottom of a depression and shame spiral and you don’t feel like you’re worthy of love and care? Do you feel like any time, effort or money spent on yourself is ‘bad’? Maybe some of these things are issues to take up with your doctor and/or counsellor. If you are struggling with everything, including eating and taking meds consistently, it may be time to make a decision to ask for help.
Make Self-Care a Judgement Free Zone
Things that tend not to be helpful: Beating yourself up about what you ‘should’ be able to do, or listening to helpful relatives suggest that ‘if you just got to bed at a decent time’ you’d be able to do everything with ease. In order to work on making changes in our lives, we first need to accept where we are – without judgement, shame, blame or self-hatred.
It can help to find someone whom you admire who has also struggled with similar issues. For example, one of my favourite authors, John Green, struggles with intrusive thought spirals due to OCD, like I do – and it makes me feel just a little bit better.
Creative Coping
If you struggle with certain self-care tasks, look for alternatives. Please know that many, many people have specific struggles with tasks like showering, brushing their teeth, visiting the dentist or doctor, taking their medications, etc. Instead of looking at those Instagram-perfect lives, use social media to your advantage, and find YouTubers and TikTokkers who understand what you’re going through and can give you some ideas:
Showering: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43AH2Toi4Ho
Alternatives to tooth brushing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJ0YaA9nKGc
Dental care: www.youtube.com/watch?v=atM2PbF4SIs&ab_channel=HowtoADHD
Self-Care with ADHD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_kOPlMttl4
Neurodivergent self-care: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPrF73fN_oU&ab_channel=fosteronthespectrum
If you struggle to take your meds, think about whether it’s a problem remembering (and put them somewhere you will be sure to see them every day), or a mental struggle (you may have to bribe yourself with a treat, or get a loved one to check in with you to help you to be consistent).
Dentists and doctors: if you have fears or specific issues, it can seem overwhelming to tackle medical appointments. Here’s the time to take your loved ones up on their offer to advocate for you, and let them take care of scheduling, transport, being with you and checking in on you during the appointment if they recognize that you are overwhelmed.
It can be hard to work on decorating your space when you don’t have a lot of energy or motivation, but if you spend a lot of time in your room, it’s important. There are resources which can help you. Try this YouTube video for some good ideas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABof7aqVSoQ
The Best and Bravest Decision
Deciding to work on self-care is a very brave decision. And one of the best ways to do that is to ask for help. This is often really hard! But you probably know some people who would be happy to help if they just knew what you needed. This might involve swallowing your pride a little bit. It takes courage to let even a trusted person into your space when it’s messy or dirty. I 100% promise you that they are not judging you like you are judging yourself. I also promise you that if they were living your life right now, they’d be struggling, too. This isn’t about your sickness, disability or lack of motivation. It’s about figuring out what you need to in order to create a life worth living.
So, self-care can be hard. And yes, that sucks. But it’s the foundation which will allow you to build towards all the good things that are waiting for you. Remember that every tiny act of self-care you can manage will build up into a forward momentum towards feeling better.
by Stefanie Tong | Jul 12, 2021 | ADHD, Anxiety, Autism, Creative Arts Programs, Depression, Health, Mental Health, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Stress, Therapy, Trauma
Many people feel apprehensive or intimidated when they hear the word “dance.” Movement is a beautiful and intricate part of who we are. We are in constant motion, from blood flowing through our veins to neurons firing during thought processes and through the simplicity of breath. Our very existence depends on the continuous movement happening within the body.
Therapeutic dance, or movement, is a mind-body approach for working with emotions towards holistic wellness. We often dismiss the subtle signs of stress from our bodies until it becomes a chronic issue, preventing us from functioning in our daily lives. Therapeutic dance and movement explores the presence of emotions within the body and shows us how to care for the emotional symptoms that we may find.
What do you mean by emotions living in the body?
Have you ever noticed sayings like, “I have butterflies in my stomach,” “That gave me the heebie-jeebies,” or “My blood is boiling”? These sayings are examples of how we experience nervousness, fear, and anger in the body. Some people describe these feelings in their body as “gut feelings.” We often override gut feelings using the mind and ignore what is happening in the body. Learning to trust in the body’s wisdom is an important skill to possess in today’s fast-paced world.
In therapeutic dance and movement, the connection between the mind and the body is facilitated as a conversation used to achieve a deeper understanding of the self. Emotions in the body are made aware by paying attention to the subtle shifts in the body and linked back to spoken language.
What does an appointment look like?
Clients are often surprised that a session does not have to involve dance whatsoever. Sessions are NOT like a dance class, experience in movement is not even required. Therapeutic dance/movement is an approach that gives your body the space to express what words cannot. Do you ever move your hands when you talk? That’s a form of therapeutic movement! A session can consist of talking to someone, along with the optional invitation of moving, breath-work, or spontaneous dance. It’s entirely up to you! Another way to interpret therapeutic dance/movement is as a counselling session. Your whole body is invited into the conversation, and expression is created from the inside to the outside.
There have been times clients have said, “I’m not sure why I just did that.” The body knows what the mind may not understand quite yet. Therapeutic dance/movement helps to bring understanding and self-compassion to patterns of being. Session goals are co-created between client and practitioner. With this, a therapeutic movement session becomes a journey of creative expression and experiential processing.
What can therapeutic dance/movement help with?
Therapeutic dance/movement can help with anything, such as stress, pain, difficulty sleeping, relationship issues, chronic illness, temper tantrums, developmental disabilities, and neurodiverse diagnoses.
Some other issues therapeutic dance/movement can support:
- Feeling stuck
- Feeling agitated or angry
- Anxiety
- Depression / low mood
- Trauma
- Autism Spectrum Disorder
- Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
- Tantrums and intense emotional upsets
- Strengthening relationships
How Can I Start Moving?
Whether you want to start moving by speaking, storytelling, writing, drawing, or dancing, get your emotions moving today by calling our office to book a therapeutic dance/movement session. Have a quick question about therapeutic dance/movement? Click here to email our therapeutic dance/movement practitioner, Stefanie.
by Nikita Bhatty-Avdic | Jan 12, 2021 | ADHD, Anxiety, Encouragement, Executive Function, Mental Health
ADHD and the Role Parents Play
Many parents wonder what role they should play in the lives of their child with ADHD. When answering an important question like this one, we like to start with the experts. In my professional readings, I often turn to the literature of Dr. Russell A. Barkley, PhD., a leading expert in the management of ADHD in children. He has a great perspective to start with when searching for insightful, research-based information around the struggles of children with attention problems and the challenges faced by their parents.
In his book, Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide For Parents, Dr. Barkley describes the role of the parent of a child with ADHD as that of a skilled executive, who acts as a team leader on behalf of the child, treating the child’s teachers, therapists, coaches or physicians as personal advisors. To assume this role fully, parents learn how to take on the headspace of a high-functioning executive, one who uses planning, prioritizing, problem solving and goal-setting skills to get the job done and ensure success for their child. In doing so, these parents (nicknamed “executive parents” by Dr. Barkely) develop their own confidence and fortify their roles as true case managers; ones who are in charge and ones who determine, to a great extent, how the care for their child takes shape.
Why Parents Need to Become Executive Parents
“Wait a second,” you might think, “Why this is role necessary when many children with learning and behavior problems already have case managers in the school system who consult with teachers, develop IEP goals and carry out recommendations? Isn’t that enough?” Ultimately, we find it is still the parents themselves who tend to be the best case managers of their children’s supports, as they are the ones who know the child best and can best advocate for their needs.
Parents who take on this executive role eventually learn to be proactive and are prepared to lead the way for other people involved in supporting their child over the long haul. Executive Parents understand that even though other individual children may be maturing faster and becoming more independent, children with learning and behavior challenges like Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Specific Learning Disability (SLD) may struggle more than others their age, needing longer periods of parental support and management. These Executive Parents learn how to act as advocates, working with others to provide the resources that the child needs over time.
The Executive Parent that Dr. Barkley envisions also understands that only they can make their child’s success their number one priority. Of course, school personnel can provide special education services, physicians can provide medical consultations, tutors can provide academic support and coaches can assist with athletics – but in the end, it’s ideal if a parent can coordinate these services in a way that works for their child. That’s not to say that specialized and skilled professionals aren’t valuable, but they cannot replace the wisdom and dedication that parents bring to the table.
It’s important to note that while the image of a highly functioning executive may bring the image of a task master to mind, parents should instead aim to operate as a decision-maker and problem-solver on behalf of their child. The child is still viewed as a complete person, with skills, competencies, feelings and preferences of their own, and above all, the potential to succeed!
It’s Okay That You’re Still Learning
Learning these “Executive Parent” skills won’t come all at once, and that’s okay. The more you learn to take this role on, the more you will develop your voice, learn how to get the information you need, ask helpful questions, and make your feelings heard. Learning these skills over time will help create more clarity around which choices to make for your child, too. And over time, you can take your place walking alongside them, clearing the way for their best interests and taking your rightful place as their biggest fan.
I know that doing all of this as a parent is difficult. It can be overwhelming to take on this role with your child sometimes, and it can also be hard to understand the systems that your child is having to operate within through school and other activities. I’d love to be a help to you and your child as you navigate this together. If I can be of any help, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
