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Resilience for Working Mothers: Stress Relief That Works
Mothers are some of the most powerful and resourceful people in our communities. Every day, they balance a multitude of roles—caregiver, professional, household manager, emotional anchor—and do so with resilience, determination, and love.
In today’s fast-paced and ever-changing world, the expectations on mothers have grown. More mothers than ever are contributing to the workforce while continuing to be the heart of their families. And while this can bring a sense of fulfillment and purpose, it also presents a very real challenge: stress.
A Changing Landscape
The number of working mothers has increased significantly over the past 50 years. According to Statistics Canada, the participation rate of mothers in the workforce has nearly doubled, from 40.5% in 1976 to 76.5% in 2021. This shift highlights not just the changing societal norms but also the immense contributions that mothers are making both at home and in the wider economy.
While the evolving role of mothers brings new opportunities, it also brings increased demands on time, energy, and mental bandwidth. Juggling work and home responsibilities can often feel like walking a tightrope.
Recognizing the Weight You Carry
Research shows that working mothers often face higher levels of stress than their non-working counterparts, with about 26% reporting high stress levels compared to 13% of stay-at-home mothers (Sohail & Imtiaz, 2018). However, this isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a testament to just how much mothers are carrying, often silently and without pause.
Stress can affect not only physical health but emotional well-being too. And while this may sound daunting, there is good news: there are powerful, accessible tools that mothers can use to support themselves. Prioritizing mental health and wellness isn’t selfish—it’s essential.
You Deserve Support and Restoration
When left unaddressed, stress can manifest in the body in many ways—fatigue, lowered immunity, anxiety, depression, and burnout. But here’s the truth: You are not powerless.
Stress doesn’t have to define your motherhood journey. It can be a signal—a nudge to care for yourself with the same compassion and intention you give to others. Investing in your well-being is a powerful act of love—for yourself, your children, and your family.
Let’s explore two effective, research-backed practices that can be integrated into even the busiest routines:
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Meditation: Small Moments, Big Shifts
Meditation is a simple, accessible tool with profound benefits for mental and physical health. You don’t need hours of solitude or expensive equipment. Even a few minutes of deep breathing or quiet reflection can shift your day.
Why meditation works:
- It’s free and time-efficient.
- It can be done anywhere—during a lunch break, before bed, or even in the car before daycare pickup.
- Studies show it reduces stress, improves emotional regulation, boosts attention, and lowers activity in the brain’s fear and stress centers.
How you can start:
- Focus on your breath for one minute.
- Do a quick body scan when you first wake up or lie down to sleep.
- Repeat a calming word, affirmation, or prayer.
Even short moments of mindfulness can create long-term resilience. In fact, meditating before a stressful event can make you more adaptable and less reactive (Dunlop, 2023).
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Nature: Healing in the Everyday
Spending time in nature—even for a few minutes—can have a deeply calming effect. While city life can be stimulating and fast-paced, nature provides the pause we often crave.
The benefits of nature exposure:
- Lowers heart rate and blood pressure
- Improves mood, memory, and focus
- Reduces symptoms of anxiety and depression
- Supports emotional regulation and overall well-being
You don’t need to escape to the mountains:
- Take a walk in a nearby park.
- Listen to nature sounds (birdsong, rain, flowing water).
- Add indoor plants to your home or workspace.
- Watch a nature video during a break.
- Pause and notice the sky, trees, or flowers while you wait in line or walk to your car.
Even just hearing nature sounds or looking at photos of natural settings can lower stress levels and restore a sense of calm (Zhang et al., 2023; Gu et al., 2022).
The Power of Reframing Self-Care
For many mothers, self-care can feel like a luxury. But in reality, it is a necessity—a non-negotiable part of maintaining your health, your energy, and your ability to show up for the people and responsibilities you love.
When mothers are well, families are well. And workplaces, communities, and society as a whole benefit. Healthy, supported mothers contribute to stronger relationships, more engaged parenting, and a healthier next generation.
Self-care isn’t about perfection or elaborate rituals. It’s about small, consistent acts of compassion toward yourself.
In Summary: You Are Worth the Care
Being a working mother is no small feat—it is a powerful act of endurance, love, and commitment. The stress you feel is valid, but it does not have to be the whole story.
By equipping yourself with simple, effective tools like meditation and nature connection, you are building resilience, restoring balance, and modelling healthy habits for your children.
Stress management isn’t just about survival—it’s about thriving. And every mother deserves the opportunity not just to make it through the day, but to feel whole, strong, and well in the process.
You are not alone in this. And you are doing an incredible job. Connect with us today if you would like more support in taking care of yourself as you care for your family.
5 Tips for Managing Holiday Stress and Finding Peace This Season
Where did all this holiday stress come from?
Diwali and Thanksgiving are over. Hannukah, Christmas and Solstice are rapidly approaching. Eid is still a little way off. But whatever and however you do, or don’t, celebrate, it’s impossible to miss ‘The Holiday Season’. It’s everywhere. It’s on every social media outlet, tv station, radio station … and it’s exhausting.
Don’t get me wrong – I love me some cheesy music, lots of pretty lights and the excitement of an approaching ‘event’. But even though this year we don’t have children to deal with (ours have grown), major family commitments, or a lot of enforced socializing, I still find myself automatically going into that continuous, low-grade panic state. You know, that constant pressure to get it all done, have my home in a state of decoration that I’d never consider necessary during the year, become an instant gourmet cook, be able to source the perfect locally-made and sold goods (affordably) for people I don’t know that well … and on, and on, and on.
This isn’t meant to be a downer. I’m just wondering, in the middle of this apparent marathon which is December, to take a detour from the prescribed racecourse? Here are some suggestions – and please, this is NOT supposed to be a ‘more things to check off the list’ set of tasks. Just a few thoughts about making some meaning at a time that’s meant to be meaningful, but often leads to sadness, stress, mental load and overwhelm.
Make a New Tradition
We all love our traditions, don’t we? Well … do we? I spent years making my family come to pick out and cut down a real Christmas tree – my favourite family tradition – until I realized that everyone except me hated it, and once I knew that, I couldn’t really enjoy it anymore. So, that’s no longer on the list.
So, how about making a new tradition? Or tweaking an old one? Would the big family get-together work better on Christmas Eve, or Boxing Day? Could an annual snowfight become a new tradition in your family? Or a holiday scavenger hunt?
What would it look like to do the usual things, but in a way that didn’t load on hany big expectations? Could making cookies with the family HAVE to be from absolute scratch with hand-piped designs, or could you buy the ready-made dough with the baked-in designs and let the kids do it themselves (with predictable but fun results)?
Play Dysfunctional Family Bingo
How I wish I could take credit for this, but it goes to the author Martha Beck. If you HAVE to attend a family celebration and you’re dreading it (for whatever reason), find one or more fellow attendees who are likely feeling the same as you (whether it’s your partner, a cousin, whatever) and make up a bingo card of all the things you’re worried might happen. Auntie Dolly will have one too many and start singing embarrassing rugby songs. Grandpa will say something insensitive about minorities. Uncle Dave will bring up politics and start an argument. One of the kids will sneak chocolate and get it all over Cousin Sally’s white sofa. You get the drill! That way, when the feared worse DOES happen, then you can sneak a look at your co-conspirators and it will become funny, rather than awful. Trust me, it works!
Have Breakfast for Dinner
At some point during the holidays, have breakfast for dinner – whether it’s a huge fried hot meal, or cold cereal. Pair it with hot chocolate or hot apple cider, and make it a fun occasion. Don’t worry – just for once – about making sure the kids have 3 vegetables, or whether they’ll get crazy on the sugar. Just let everyone choose what will make them happy, and release all expectations for just one night.
You could tweak this to be a hot dog night, or anything else that everyone else will enjoy – the point is to take the pressure off everyone for a day, be a bit silly, and take a moment to relax your expectations.
For Goodness’ Sake, Get Out!
Isn’t it interesting that we have this perception that we should spend 24/7 with our loved ones at this time? If you don’t play ‘happy families’ at other times, then why do you think that you should be able to do that at a time the stress is already high? Find reasons to get out, whether it’s walking the dog, offering to be the one to pop out to the store to get extra stuffing or being the one to drive someone home after they’ve had a few drinks (buying you the solo drive back home).
The point of this is to manufacture little breaks in your time where you can put on some music/podcast, or just listen to the peace and quiet outside, take a few breaths, allow some stillness to creep into your mind and realize that life will go back to normal soon.
Try to Manage Expectations
You may have a very strong opinion on how things should go during the holidays. However, try thinking of things from others’ perspectives – maybe the twins’ parents need to leave early because right now it’s taking 3 hours to get them both to sleep. Maybe Uncle Bert refuses to attend a family dinner because he is scared to drive home at night but doesn’t want anyone to know. We don’t always know why people behave the way that they do, but if we can try to ‘assume best intentions’ – that they have their reasons and it probably doesn’t have anything to do with you – then it’s a lot easier to enjoy whatever energy people bring at this time of year, and return your best to them, also.
Support for Holiday Stress: Navigating the Season with Ease
If you’re finding the holiday season especially overwhelming this year, you’re not alone. The pressure to meet expectations, balance family dynamics, and maintain a sense of peace can take a toll on your mental well-being. Alongside You is here to support you during this challenging time. Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, stress, or simply need someone to talk to, our team of compassionate professionals is ready to help. Don’t face the holiday season alone — contact us today to explore how we can help you navigate this time with greater ease and peace of mind.
Whatever your holidays do, or don’t, look like – happy holidays, and I hope you find some peace this year.
Coping Ahead: Anticipating Stress & Boosting Confidence
Do you find yourself constantly worrying about every possible scenario that could go wrong? You’re not alone. Constant worrying, overthinking, and feeling out of control can take a big toll on your mental health and well-being. This makes it incredibly difficult to focus on daily tasks or enjoy life to its fullest. But there is a solution: Coping Ahead is an effective technique from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) that helps you prepare for stress and manage emotions ahead of time.
Eventualities
When I was 19 years old I learned to pilot gliders (airplanes without engines, also called sailplanes). Before each flight, we would always go through our pre-flight checks, even if the aircraft had just landed from a previous flight. We would make sure all of the controls worked as expected, the instruments were reading correctly, and of other important things worth double-checking when you’re propelling yourself two thousand feet into the sky!
The very last step of every pre-flight check was to review “eventualities.”
Though it’s been many years now since I last flew, I still remember vividly what I would say out loud to myself at this step, time and time again:
“If a wing drops on the launch and I cannot recover, I will release the launch cable and land ahead. At a safe height and speed I will start to climb. In the event of a launch failure, I will release the cable and lower the nose to a recovery attitude, and gain sufficient speed before maneuvering. I will land ahead if possible. Otherwise, I will turn downwind, which today is [left or right] and complete an abbreviated circuit or find a safe landing solution. The wind today is ___ knots which means my minimum approach speed is ___ knots.”
Coping Ahead saves time and effort.
The reason for talking through these eventualities in so much detail on the ground is that you’ve already made all of your decisions in the event of an emergency. In an unlikely situation where the pressure is on and seconds count, you don’t need to waste precious time or mental effort deciding what to do. You’ve already thought it through, and simply must follow your plan.
And this skill isn’t just for pilots! In DBT, coping ahead is an emotion regulation skill that can help you rehearse strategies ahead of time to better handle stressful situations or uncomfortable emotions. By visualizing and planning out how you will cope with challenging situations in advance, you start to feel more confident in your ability to face them, boosting your self-esteem and reducing stress.
What’s the difference between Coping Ahead and overthinking?
Overthinking is a common response to stress that can be counterproductive. It is also a common feature of anxiety that involves dwelling on worst-case scenarios, often leading to a cycle of negative thoughts and emotions. It can be triggered by a wide range of every-day stressors or perceived threats.
On the other hand, rather than going in circles about problems, Coping Ahead involves thinking about solutions. It is a deliberate and proactive skill, rather than a reactive response that actually impairs your problem-solving abilities.
How do I learn to Cope Ahead?
If you want to learn how to Cope Ahead, there are some practical tips you can try.
- Identify potential stressors in your life, such as upcoming deadlines or social events.
- Plan coping strategies that work for you, such as deep breathing, positive self-talk, or seeking support from friends.
- Rehearse your coping strategies in your mind, visualizing yourself using them and picturing how they will help.
- Lastly, remember to take some time to relax and ground yourself. Well done!
If you are struggling with…
- Overthinking
- Low self-confidence
- Anxiety
- A sense of low control in your life
- Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
- Other conditions that cause intense emotional reactions to common life stressors
…then consider seeking support from a mental health professional. Coping Ahead is a skill that can be learned and practiced, and therapy can provide a safe and supportive environment for developing this skill. Contact our clinic to learn more about how we can help.
How Can Therapeutic Dance/Movement Help Me?
Many people feel apprehensive or intimidated when they hear the word “dance.” Movement is a beautiful and intricate part of who we are. We are in constant motion, from blood flowing through our veins to neurons firing during thought processes and through the simplicity of breath. Our very existence depends on the continuous movement happening within the body.
Therapeutic dance, or movement, is a mind-body approach for working with emotions towards holistic wellness. We often dismiss the subtle signs of stress from our bodies until it becomes a chronic issue, preventing us from functioning in our daily lives. Therapeutic dance and movement explores the presence of emotions within the body and shows us how to care for the emotional symptoms that we may find.
What do you mean by emotions living in the body?
Have you ever noticed sayings like, “I have butterflies in my stomach,” “That gave me the heebie-jeebies,” or “My blood is boiling”? These sayings are examples of how we experience nervousness, fear, and anger in the body. Some people describe these feelings in their body as “gut feelings.” We often override gut feelings using the mind and ignore what is happening in the body. Learning to trust in the body’s wisdom is an important skill to possess in today’s fast-paced world.
In therapeutic dance and movement, the connection between the mind and the body is facilitated as a conversation used to achieve a deeper understanding of the self. Emotions in the body are made aware by paying attention to the subtle shifts in the body and linked back to spoken language.
What does an appointment look like?
Clients are often surprised that a session does not have to involve dance whatsoever. Sessions are NOT like a dance class, experience in movement is not even required. Therapeutic dance/movement is an approach that gives your body the space to express what words cannot. Do you ever move your hands when you talk? That’s a form of therapeutic movement! A session can consist of talking to someone, along with the optional invitation of moving, breath-work, or spontaneous dance. It’s entirely up to you! Another way to interpret therapeutic dance/movement is as a counselling session. Your whole body is invited into the conversation, and expression is created from the inside to the outside.
There have been times clients have said, “I’m not sure why I just did that.” The body knows what the mind may not understand quite yet. Therapeutic dance/movement helps to bring understanding and self-compassion to patterns of being. Session goals are co-created between client and practitioner. With this, a therapeutic movement session becomes a journey of creative expression and experiential processing.
What can therapeutic dance/movement help with?
Therapeutic dance/movement can help with anything, such as stress, pain, difficulty sleeping, relationship issues, chronic illness, temper tantrums, developmental disabilities, and neurodiverse diagnoses.
Some other issues therapeutic dance/movement can support:
- Feeling stuck
- Feeling agitated or angry
- Anxiety
- Depression / low mood
- Trauma
- Autism Spectrum Disorder
- Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
- Tantrums and intense emotional upsets
- Strengthening relationships
How Can I Start Moving?
Whether you want to start moving by speaking, storytelling, writing, drawing, or dancing, get your emotions moving today by calling our office to book a therapeutic dance/movement session. Have a quick question about therapeutic dance/movement? Click here to email our therapeutic dance/movement practitioner, Stefanie.
3 Ways To Support Your Teen Through The Pandemic
This pandemic is a challenge to people in all stages of life, but it is also uniquely affecting adolescents. In a period of time where their developmental task is to extend their social connections to include peers, they are being asked to do this in very constricted ways (virtually, or in small groups at school). The adolescents I see in my office are leaning on their parents and families in ways they never expected to have to do. If you parent an adolescent, your role in their life is significant. Here are 3 ways to support your teen through the pandemic.
Listen with openness, empathy, and curiosity
I am continually amazed by the resilience that adolescents demonstrate. Only they will ever know what it’s like to be a teen in the 21st century, about to launch themselves into the world but then asked to “stay put” (so to speak) for an additional year or so. It is important that they do so (for the safety and sake of the world they will grow up to live in and lead in the future) but right now, it’s hard. They need to be heard, and to feel understood in their experience.
Questions you can ask your teen include:
- “What are the challenges you’re experiencing, socially, as a result of the pandemic?”
- “What do you miss? What losses have you experienced?”
- “What did you do today that made you feel good? What are you looking forward to this week?”
- “What are you grateful for?”
- “What could I be doing to support you in school right now?”
What is really important is how you ask these questions. Try to come to the conversation with openness to whatever they have to say. Reserve judgement, empathize with their unique experience, and remain curious about what this is like for them. Responses such as, “Is that right,” “Can you tell me more about that,” or “That’s interesting, I didn’t know that…” go a long way. Avoid the trap of “looking on the bright side,” dismissing what they share, or trying to compare what they’re experiencing to your own hardship. It may be tempting to downplay their concerns, but it’s essential that they have a place to speak openly. This really is as bad as they feel it is, even if it doesn’t feel the same way for you.
Spend meaningful time together
I speak with a lot of teens who tell me how they’re secretly enjoying getting more time with their parents. I have been surprised to hear of how a lunch date with Dad, or a cozy movie night with Mom made an adolescent’s week. They still need you, more than they let on. Your role is important in their life, even well into adolescence. So, don’t discredit yourself – connection with you counts as socialization too!
Why stop at 3 ways to support your teen through the pandemic? If you’re running out of things to do together, consider how you might provide opportunities to do something new. Here are a few ideas on how to create meaningful connection together:
- Try a new hiking or biking trail.
- Drive to a new city nearby that you haven’t explored together (even if it’s not an alluring destination, perhaps there’s a new cafe you can stumble upon together).
- Sign up for an online art class/project (I’ve heard these are fairly accessible in many areas). Buy supplies together, and make snacks to enjoy.
- Dress up (or design and make clothes?!) for a fashion show, and do a photo shoot. You can include things like hair, make up, accessories, and make it a production they work toward.
- Create a family recipe book. Invent new recipes to include.
- Cooking competitions (take turns being the judge, or give limited ingredients and see what they come up with, or make it an online competition with them and their friends.
- Help your teen reorganize, redesign, or redecorate their room.
- Do exercise or yoga videos together.
- Rent a karaoke machine! See if their friends want to do the same at their house and create a virtual karaoke night.
- Start a small business together.
- Have your teen teach you something they know a lot about.
Even if your time together is less elaborate, be present with them. Most teens are figuring out who they are, what they stand for, and what they want out of life, and you have the privilege of unfolding and exploring their inner world with them. Enjoy!
Check in on their mental health
See item #1: listening with openness, empathy and curiosity. Ask them questions about how they’re doing and really listen. See if you notice they’re exhibiting some of these signs:
- Increased irritability or tearfulness
- Changes in sleep or eating habits
- Increased isolation (especially over time)
- Lack of motivation, or not enjoying activities they normally would
If you do notice these things, seek mental health support, if they’re open to it. Remember that inquiring into their mental health does not intensify the problem, it only provides an opportunity to address what’s already happening.
I hope this has been helpful for you as you parent your teen in the middle of a very challenging situation. I know I said I’d give you 3 ways to support your teen through the pandemic and I may have overshot that a bit!
If you, or your teen, would like to talk to somebody about their mental health, we’re here for you. Contact us at Alongside You, and we’d be honoured to join you and your family as we journey through this pandemic together. You’ve got this!