by Andrew Neufeld | Sep 8, 2017 | Counselling
The interns are back! We had such great success with our first intern, now staff member Kelly Williams, that we’ve doubled down and now have two interns with us starting now, until August 2018! Chantelle Phillips joins us from Adler School of Professional Psychology, Kelly Williams’ old stomping grounds, and John Bablitz joins us from ACTS at Trinity Western University, my own alma mater. We’re excited to have them on board!
Having interns is a great thing in so many ways. First and foremost, it allows us to get involved in training the next generation of therapists, providing them with opportunities to learn from some of the best in the field, get opportunities to be involved in the community and other organizations, and to instill the values we believe are crucial to success as a therapist, and to care for clients in the way we do here at Alongside You.
Second, it allows us to offer another way for individuals, couples, and families to receive counselling at an affordable rate, even below what we can offer on a sliding scale basis. It really is a pretty good deal – you get an intern, and you get me along with it as the supervisor, in addition to the expertise of all of our counselling staff who also spend time with the interns. For $40/hour, you really can’t go wrong.
Third, this year I’m very excited because we’ve been able to expand our services to offer counselling to individuals with developmental disabilities. As someone who has worked with individuals with developmental disabilities for years, this is exciting for me because it lowers the barriers to services for these folks in our community. Both of our interns will be available for this, and Chantelle has quite a bit of experience with individuals with developmental disabilities and is excited to see them in the counselling room!
I sat down with our interns over dinner a few weeks back and thought I’d ask them some questions to help you get to know them a bit better. Without further ado, here’s what they had to say!
Meet Our Counselling Interns
Chantelle Phillips
How did you decide to pursue a career in the counselling field?
I think I always wanted to go into psychology and counselling, but it took me a while to figure out I could do something I wanted to do, not just what I could do. I’ve always connected well with people and been the one that listened to others and it interested me. Our family has had some experiences with mental health and addictions and so it’s something I’ve felt drawn to.
What excites you the most about doing an internship with Alongside You?
Learning how to operate the coffee maker to save Meg from doing it. On a more serious note, I’m very interested in collaboration, and the multidisciplinary team environment and I love the approach. I love the atmosphere of connection and the team environment at Alongside You and want to learn from it.
What is something unique about you that a client might want to know?
I think I’m super funny and nobody else does. I think my fallback career should be as a stand-up comedian but I’ve yet to find someone to corroborate that. I am a fan of the awkward moment and people who say what they mean.
Who is someone you’ve looked up to in your life and has influenced how you live and work?
My immediate family is very close, but my sister, I call her “my person” – she’s the yin to my yang, we’re super close. She’s the one who gives me strength to try new things and get out of my comfort zone.
What are you like outside of work/school? Interests, hobbies, etc.
Sports are my life – I played four competitive sports. I’m super competitive and love playing team sports, being in nature, outdoors, and I love animals. I’d lay in a pen of puppies for hours.
John Bablitz
How did you decide to pursue a career in the counselling field?
I decided to pursue a career in counselling because I’ve always been interested in psychology and how people work and do the things they do, but when my sister went into the field it really had a positive impact on our family. Being with people makes me feel alive. I feel that there is something really important to this, and the more interested I became, the more I wanted to do it.
What excites you the most about doing an internship with Alongside You?
I remember talking to Andrew and Meg and listening to the scope of what is covered and what Alongside You is excited about and the opportunities are exciting. Learning about the business side, finding needs, learning to communicate in various forms and reach people in a labour of love because it’s what should be done. I like how Andrew and Meg and Alongside You take care of people.
What is something unique about you that a client might want to know?
I’m very emotionally responsive and find I connect very quickly with others’ emotions. I’m really fascinated with Germany and German culture and minored in German in university. I worked in Disney World in the Canadian Pavillion in Epcot Centre.
Who is someone you’ve looked up to in your life and has influenced how you live and work?
My grandfather because he had a really child-like spirit that I think I adopted and a sense of wonder for all sorts of little things and people. I think that’s something I still hold with me very dear.
What are you like outside of work/school? Interests, hobbies, etc.
I like sports a lot. I’ve had to take it easier lately, so I’ve picked up slow pitch lately, and I really enjoy team sports and getting to be around others. I love learning and growing with others, particularly within organized sports.
Now What?
I hope you’ve enjoyed getting to know the interns a little bit – they’re excited to be here! If you’re looking for some counselling, they’d love to meet you. To book an appointment, please give me a call at the office at 604-283-7827 ext. 701 and we can see about arranging an appointment for you.
by Andrew Neufeld | Sep 5, 2017 | Announcements
While most of us were off relaxing this weekend, Alongside You turned two. To say that the time has gone fast would be a massive understatement. I still remember sitting on the couch with Meg when we had made the decision for me to leave my permanent job in the health authorities and for us to open an integrated health clinic. I’m pretty sure the looks on both of our faces would have read something along the lines of, “Are we really doing this?”
See, for many different reasons, this was probably not the smartest move. I had a permanent position in the health authorities that paid well, gave us health benefits, paid time off, and flexibility for me to do some private work, and take time off when I needed to help out at home after the accident. Meg was still in no shape to do any work of consequence, but she had a feeling she may be able to do something as long as it was based around her rehab schedule and how she was doing that day. You see, we had a dream; a dream that we knew had a real possibility of changing lives, including our own. We had a dream to build a team of people who not only were excellent in their field, but shared our vision: to make integrated health care, that cared for the whole person, accessible to anyone regardless of income. This was a big ask of ourselves, and of our staff because we knew that this would require sacrifices from all of us to make the dream happen.
It is with great joy, and gratitude that Meg and I would like to share a few details of what has happened in two years at Alongside You.
600+ new clients receiving services
4400+ hours of services provided
1000s of hours of volunteer work in the community
Over $125,000 in subsidized services provided
Nobody turned away due to lack of funds
Anyone who has met Meg or I know that we wear our hearts on our sleeves. We’ve both been overwhelmed by emotions over the past two years when we’ve been able to observe what has been happening and the lives that have changed through our little clinic.
As a part of celebrating our two-year anniversary, we thought it might be good to share some of what’s happened and what we’ve been a part of in the community for the past two years, and a little bit of what’s coming up in the next year!
Some highlights of the past 2 years at Alongside You
- Starting with one counsellor, and building to a staff of 10+ and holistic services to meet the needs of clients including Occupational Therapy, Registered Dietitian services, Neurofeedback, Therapeutic Yoga, Pelvic Rehabilitation, Therapeutic Arts, and more!
- Building a Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) program that provides help to some of the most at-risk clients across the Greater Vancouver area and Fraser Valley and has greatly reduced hospitalizations and has had no clients take their lives while in our care.
- Providing therapeutic art services for at risk youth, South Delta Home Learners, rec therapy clients from Fraser Health, and more.
- Facilitating community art projects with local businesses and groups.
- Writing a monthly column in the Delta Optimist about integrating art with daily life.
- Starting up a Friday Night Knitting club based on a request from the community, and using it as a platform to support the Step Forward Program.
- Volunteering our time with the Child and Youth Mental Health and Substance Use Local Action Team and providing consulting work by going into schools and youth groups to find out what is, and isn’t working for youth and finding ways to fill gaps in services
- Successfully recruiting one family doctor, and together with the Delta Division of Family Practice, placing him in a local medical clinic
- Building an internship program working with local universities to provide clinical supervision and training for Masters students, which further reduce barriers to accessing counselling for the local community
- Started the Step Forward Program that provides further subsidy for services for those who need some extra financial help
- We were honoured to be the recipients of the Rising Star of the Year award from the Delta Chamber of Commerce, awarded to the best new business for 2016.
I could go on, but we have to stop somewhere. As exciting as it is to review some of what’s happened in the past 2 years, I’m even more excited about what’s coming up!
What we’re doing now, and into the future
More services for kids!
We are expanding our services to kids, including counselling and groups. Starting this month, we will offer Taming The Worry Dragons, a great program offered at BC Children’s Hospital, but lacking in our local community. It’s a great program for anxious kids to learn skills to manage their anxieties.
Next, we’ll be offering the CHI Kids program from Michelle Kambolis, which builds on the CBT approach and integrates art, creativity, and yoga. This will launch in late fall or early 2018.
Rolling out a Substance Use and Addictions Program
Starting this fall, we are developing and rolling out a full addictions program. We will start with a men’s group twice per month, and build to a full after-care program that is integrated with inpatient treatment centres to make sure that clients coming home from treatment have somewhere to follow up and continue their work. We will be working with other local businesses to integrate the full spectrum of services needed!
Expanding our Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) Program
Starting this month, we have doubled our DBT groups. We will continue the Saturday group that meets from 10am-12pm, and be adding another group on Thursday evenings from 6:00pm-8:00pm.
We are also starting a DBT group for Youth – we’re not quite finished building out this program but look for an announcement toward the end of September!
We are also expanding the availability of our 1:1 DBT services, and Share Forde will be adding 1:1 hours on Wednesday mornings.
LGBTQ support groups
We are working on starting up support groups for LGBTQ youth, and for their families. We are in the development stage and hope to launch these this fall, or early 2018.
Services for Chronic Pain and Chronic Conditions
While we already provide individualized support for people struggling with chronic conditions, we’re expanding our services to create a variety of options for our local community. We’ll start with a chronic pain support group using Mindfulness Based Art activities, starting in January 2018. Stay tuned for details!
South Surrey Office – January 2018
We’re in preparations to open a South Surrey office in January 2018. It will start small, with counselling, neurofeedback, registered dietitian services, dialectical behaviour therapy for individuals and groups, and consulting services and growing from there. Stay tuned, details will be announced this Fall!
Expanding The Step Forward Program
The Step Forward Program has been a great success, and we’re looking to expand it further and make it more sustainable. We’re developing a sponsorship program where individuals and businesses can join with us to provide funding for services, and receive benefits as well for participation. Look for more details this fall.
Final Words
As you can see, we’re pretty excited and we could go on, but we need to stop somewhere! We would be remiss if we didn’t say a few thankyou’s to those who have made all of this possible along the way. We can’t thank everyone here, but know that if you’ve been a part of it, we are very grateful. We are grateful to the community of South Delta who have embraced us, and used our services. We are grateful to our unbelievable staff who have joined our vision, and enabled us to say yes to people when they’ve needed help and couldn’t afford it. We are grateful to donors who have come alongside us, and given us money to provide services to clients even though they get no tax break – they simply wanted people to get help.
Finally, we want to thank our family and friends. It takes a great deal of support to pull something like this off and whether it’s been helping with renovations, taking care of our kids, or just checking to see how we’re doing, we truly appreciate it.
Meg and I both feel very honoured to have been a part of the South Delta community since 2006, and now for two years as a part of Alongside You. With your support, we look forward to many more years serving our hometown and beyond.
Alongside You is an award-winning, integrated health agency in the heart of Ladner, BC, and they serve a wide range of clientele in Ladner, Delta, Vancouver, Richmond, Surrey, Langley and surrounding areas. They provide accessible health care to anyone in their communities, because people matter.
If you would like more information about what Alongside You is doing in the community, please contact Andrew Neufeld at 604.283.7827 ext. 701, Meg Neufeld at ext. 703, or email them at info@alongsideyou.ca.
by Andrew Neufeld | Aug 8, 2017 | Case Studies
In my work with clients, I regularly emphasize the importance of rest, relaxation, and time for oneself to regroup and recharge. I was recently introduced to an article in the Harvard Business Review on the topic of resilience, and the idea that resilience is about how we recharge as human, not how we build ourselves up to endure constantly. It’s a great article, and I encourage you to take a few minutes to read it, it’s well worth the time. The article got me thinking, however, about my own habits and now that I’m on vacation while writing this, I’m forced to reflect on how I rest. I’ve come to a significant conclusion: I suck at it.
Now, before you think about consoling me and telling me, “it’s okay, you don’t suck at it,” let me emphasize to you that no, it’s really true. I suck at resting. I have about a 2 minute limit on not doing something. I’m not sure if this has always been this way, or if I’ve somehow trained myself to be excellent at going all the time, but it is what it is. Whether you buy into the Type-A personality thing or not, many of the characteristics are good descriptions of me, including driven, competitive, ambitious, sensitive, impatient, anxious, and the list goes on. Perhaps, even more, challenging for me is the fact that I’m so results-oriented; that is, if something doesn’t produce results, I’m not interested in it. Admittedly, this is one of my hang-ups with rest – how does it produce results? It certainly doesn’t feel like it at first glance. My natural instinct is to tell myself to get up and do something. What I’ve discovered, however, is that I could not be more wrong about rest. Rest produces results, but it’s also hard work for people like me.
You might be wondering how my emphasizing rest jives with me writing this article while I’m supposed to be on vacation. Well, let me tell you a couple of things I’ve been thinking about and learning as a part of my preparation for and enjoyment of my current hiatus. If you’re at all like me, I hope they help you prepare for rest and resilience.
Rest takes preparation and sometimes ruthless decisions
You know how you sometimes get those auto-responders that say something like, “Thanks for the email. I’m on vacation and won’t be able to respond until I return,” and then you get a response shortly after sending the email? Yup, that was me. I’d set the autoresponder and then monitor my email anyways. Made sense to me at the time, and certainly abated my anxieties about leaving, but it didn’t help much with the rest aspect of being away.
I’ve learned that I am not someone who can read emails and not do anything about them, and not think about them. It’s all or nothing for me. So, for this vacation, I actually reconfigured my email so that all of my work email didn’t get forwarded to one place, but had its’ own separate account that I can turn on and off. You guessed it – it’s off right now. This was a very difficult decision for me to make because it produces a lot of anxiety, but this is part of the hard work of rest – I now have to manage that anxiety – that’s my job.
Rest sometimes requires help from others
One of the complaints I hear from clients when I emphasize the need for disconnection from work in order to rest is that they can’t afford to be gone that long, or leave communications unanswered. You know what? Sometimes they’re right. This is true for me – some of the phone calls and emails that come into our clinic do need to be answered while I’m gone and I’ve had to plan for that as well – with the caveat that not all of them need to be answered while I’m away.
If you call the clinic, or my direct line, or email me you’ll find out that one of our wonderful staff, Juliana Fruhling, has graciously offered to handle calls/emails that can’t wait while I’m away. Let me tell you – with the volume of calls and emails I respond to on a daily basis this is no small task and I am incredibly grateful that she has been willing to do this for me.
This isn’t actually an uncommon thing in our line of work, as just as medical doctors and other professionals, we always need to have someone available clinically if we’re not available. What’s uncommon about it this time is that I’m actually forcing myself to not be available and trust someone else to manage things while I’m gone. This requires letting go and trusting others. I’m fortunate that I have people I can trust and lean on in my absence, I just have to work hard on the letting go part.
The hard work of rest
Even with all of these things in place, I’m still challenged to rest. I’ve come to the conclusion that rest for me, and for others I imagine, is going to involve very little time doing nothing, and much time doing things that recharge me, and that I’ve perhaps let go by the wayside for a while. What this looks like is going to vary for everyone, but for me, the common themes of what I need are: playful activities, creative opportunities, and intellectual stimulation.
I’ve been getting these three things in spades on vacation and guess what? It’s making a difference. I’ve been loving spending time alone with Meg and the kids, enjoying some great restaurants and also spending time cooking for my family, as cooking is one of my favourite creative outlets that I don’t often have time for. Finally, I thrive on intellectual stimulation and reading, so I’m reading a few good books and engaging in intentional conversations, and writing. I love all of these things and don’t always get the opportunity in everyday life as much as I’d like.
Conclusion
I think that one of the most important things we get back to when we rest, is our own sense of self and the narrative that defines us. I am so very fortunate to be able to do what I love, every day, but my work life is only a part of what makes me who I am. As an Executive Director, small business owner, therapist, and consultant, my work life takes up a big chunk of my life and it’s easy for the rest to get pushed out of the picture. Oliver Sacks, in his book The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat and Other Clinical Tales, writes, “To be ourselves, we must have ourselves – possess, if need be re-possess, our life-stories. We must ‘recollect’ ourselves, recollect the inner drama, the narrative, of ourselves. A man needs such a narrative, a continuous inner narrative, to maintain his identity, his self” (p. 111, 2006).
For me, this is the purpose of rest, and also the all-important result of rest – a reclamation of our own narrative, our own self. If we can use our times of rest to get back to our core, satisfy our needs, perhaps remind ourselves of what our needs are and plan for how we are going to meet them when we re-enter “real life,” we are going to be more resilient, more effective, and also more balanced. This is what I’m working on now – assessing needs, meeting them, and planning for how this will continue when I return to the office and to real life.
I hope this article has been as helpful for you to read as it has been for me to write. It’s helped me solidify some of my thoughts while resting (remember the activities listed above as part of my rest?). Also, I thank you for your patience as I don’t respond to emails or calls in my absence – this is the hard work of rest, and I’m working hard on it.
by Andrew Neufeld | Jul 21, 2017 | Articles
One of the questions I get quite often is, “You’re a counsellor, why do you have all of these other people in your office?” These questions have become more frequent over the years, especially when we opened our yoga studio this past March. What on earth does yoga have to do with mental health? The simple answer? Lots. We have been very intentional about the disciplines we’ve incorporated into our clinic and there is a research based-rationale for everything. The bottom line answer as to why we have all the various disciplines we do is because they work – and moreso, as much as I am a counsellor and believe in the type of work that we do, I know that it is only one way to approach a difficulty, and to fully help the clients we have, an integrated approach is most helpful.
The Body and the Mind
Throughout history, the body and the mind have mainly been thought of as two separate entities. Dualism has been a predominant thought for centuries in many cultures, particularly Western. Eastern cultures have had less of a dichotomous view, and Western culture and medicine are starting to take a more unified view of the body and mind. This is being supported by much of the research on human anatomy, physiology, psychology, and the therapeutic techniques available to us.
Although once thought to be separate entities, the body and the mind are indeed very connected. There is new research being done on the Vagus nerve and autonomic nervous systems, driven by the Polyvagal Theory of Stephen Porges, that is showing just how connected the body and the brain are and how this impacts treatment. Without getting bogged down in neuroscience and human physiology, what is the implication for us at Alongside You and you as our clients?
There is more that one way to treat mental health, and counselling, while effective, is only one part of the solution.
Nutrition
If the body and the mind are so intimately connected, then it would stand to reason that what we consume matters! We already know that what we eat has a direct impact on our bodies; well, if that’s true, then we can assume that it affects our brains as well! One of the examples of this in my own life is when I discovered how much water intake impacted my wellbeing. Common sense would suggest that since our body and brain are comprised primarily of water, making sure that my water intake was up to par would be important. I am not always a smart man. However, I was having difficulty staying awake at my desk in the hospital, and maintaining focus. I don’t remember how I got the idea, but I consciously made an effort to drink 2 litres of water a day and suddenly I had more energy, could focus better and felt human again! Needless to say, it’s been about three years and I’ve continued this practice and can tell you that it’s one of the best changes I’ve ever made. For more information on the importance of nutrition, you can see our article here and here.
Yoga
Brenna and I have both written on the subject of yoga before, but what I want to point out is the bi-directionality of influence between the body and the mind. We know that the mind affects the body. Using guided imagery, meditation, and other techniques can help regulate heart rate, blood pressure, and more! I know from my own practice that mindfulness helps me keep these in check better than almost anything else.
Similarly, the body helps regulate the mind and our emotions. This isn’t new – I remember learning in undergraduate psychology at UBC that simply smiling will actually help us feel subjectively happier. Similarly, our breathing can impact our anxiety levels significantly. A technique I use with clients is one that I picked up from Dr. Marsha Linehan at a conference a few years back – it’s simple: breathe out slower than you breathe in. Try it – it works. It actually works so well that she gives a medical disclaimer that if lowering your heart rate or blood pressure could be a bad idea, don’t do it! Consider yourselves warned!
What I’m most excited about with yoga is the research coming out, primarily from Besel Van Der Kolk and David Emerson, showing that Trauma Sensitive Yoga is a very effective adjunct to psychotherapy and can sometimes be just as effective, if not more effective than counselling for recovery in people who have experienced trauma, even on its own. This is so promising for clients who are nonverbal, clients who are stuck in the symptoms of PTSD, clients who are not able to talk about their trauma, and more! You can read more about what we do with yoga here. I cannot be more excited about the results we’re seeing with our clients in our yoga program.
Art
One of the most common questions I get is “Why do you have an art studio in a health clinic?” The answer is simple: because it helps people recover. It is not about being the best artist (thank goodness or I wouldn’t be allowed to set foot in there), becoming the next Picasso or Monet, or painting the perfect sunset. It’s about finding a way to express your emotions, build community, meet new people, encourage each other, and so much more in a non-threatening environment where you’re free to simply create, explore, and restore your sense of self, your relationships, and your passions. I get to see teens engage in new creative mediums, families bond over art and communicate with each other, seniors join with the younger folks to enjoy an activity and pass on some of their wisdom, and people of all abilities working together, and around each other, and being accepted. Art heals. If you want to read more about it, check this article out, or maybe this one!
Conclusion
I could go on forever about why integrated care is so important, but the bottom line is because the body, the brain, and the soul are all integral parts of healing and we need to pay attention to all of them if we want to help people. We’re still a young clinic and we can’t do it all, but we’re trying to take a well-rounded approach to care. If we can help the body, and we can help the brain, and we can help the soul, people recover.
If you’d like to talk further, please feel free to give us a call. We’d love to connect with you. If you’re not sure what the right way to go is, we’re happy to explore that with you.
If you’re interested in exploring Mindfulness, check out this article by Brenna and our upcoming workshop on July 28th!
If you’d like to try some art, we have our Open Studio Sessions and a series of pop-up workshops on various topics this summer, check out our events calendar here!
If you don’t even know where to begin, give us a call or send us an email, we’d love to chat!
by Brenna Jacobson | Jun 25, 2017 | Events
It’s World Continence Week! Since its inception in Cairo in 2008, we celebrate from Monday – Sunday in the last week of June. It is estimated that incontinence affects approximately 400 million people worldwide. Historically people didn’t talk about their symptoms, finding it too personal, embarrassing, or thinking there was something different or wrong with their bodies in the form of involuntary leakage.
The purpose of World Continence Week is to increase public awareness and encourage people to educate themselves by talking to a friend or family member, a doctor or healthcare provider, or a professional who specializes in pelvic floor health and rehabilitation.
Incontinence issues can affect self-image, self-confidence and quality of life. So, if you’re reading this please know that you are definitely not alone, or different in some weird way! Will you take the first small step, get curious, and seek help? The good news is that it’s never too late to retrain the pelvic floor and associated muscular system. These muscles are no different than others, they respond to strength training programs and techniques, as well as release techniques. Yes, your pelvic floor muscles can be hypertonic (too tight) and need releasing before retraining. People often assume that incontinence is due to hypotonic (weak muscles) which often it is, if you are not an athletic person. There’s so much more information I’d love to share with you!
In honour of World Continence Week, we at Alongside You, are promoting pelvic health, and offering our 6-week Progressive Series for pelvic floor rehabilitation by retraining and conditioning. Bookings start July 1st, 2017! There is help available, take the first step!
Please give me a call today at 604-283-7827 ext. 709 or email brenna@alongsideyou.ca to set up your appointment!
by Brenna Jacobson | Jun 23, 2017 | Yoga
Mindfulness is a term you may be hearing a lot lately as it is being brought into everyday conversations, in response to our stressful lifestyles, and increased alienation from other people. This is due to many reasons, not the least of which are our busy lives, work hours, use of technology, cell phones, texting, and video games, just to name a few. Mindfulness is paying attention to the here and now with acceptance and non-judgement, kindness and curiosity.
Mindfulness Meditation has been a part of Hatha Yoga practices for thousands of years, so it’s not new, but thankfully is being rediscovered. It’s for all of us: children, teens and adults.
Have you ever found yourself repeatedly telling a child to “stop doing that?” It’s no wonder they either continue doing it or find some way to avoid not doing it. What we really need to do is teach them how to stop. This brings it back to you, the parent, to start integrating mindfulness into your own life, by practicing and showing your kids how to respond rather than react. By being compassionate first to yourself, you are resolving your buzzing thoughts, which will magically get passed on to others. Try an experiment: pick a time during the day and check where your mind is, past, future or the present?
Many seeds of mindfulness are planted early in life, but need to be tended and nurtured. As children, we lay on the grass staring up at the blue sky, watching clouds, hearing birds chirping, noticing the breeze gently caressing our face. Nowadays, we enjoy the moment, but most of us never learn how to integrate this into our life. Notice what you are doing already to set an example to children, teens or other adults. What do you do daily for self-care, relaxation and reflection?
Our children also need to be encouraged to have time to themselves to reset. As parents, we spend hours driving our children to countless extra-curricular classes and sports activities, as well as driving ourselves to the gym to work out on the way home from our jobs, texting frantically to communicate and at end of the day feeling more burned out than ever. Through mindfulness practice we can learn to stop – Stop, Take a breath, Observe and Proceed (STOP). Sometimes we don’t realize that all of the extras we take on can have issues attached, whether it’s with a coach, a team mate, feeling inadequate, comparing ourselves to others, and so on. So, the tough parts of the day don’t always end after school, they can confront us wherever we go and in our interactions with others.
Coming from a place of mindful self-compassion it’s important that we check in throughout the day to appreciate the taste of food, notice our bodies, and notice where our thoughts are and bringing them back to an anchor. Our anchor is often our breath, but an anchor can be a colour, a body part, a word, there are endless choices. I encourage you to take a moment in the morning before checking your e-mail, and think of the acronym R.A.I.N.: Recognize and be with your feelings, Allow your feelings to be as they are, Investigate your emotions by becoming curious as to why you feel the way you do, and Notice the troubled thoughts are Not you, it’s not personal to you.
Mindfulness is not about being self-indulgent, weak, selfish, irresponsible, or having self-pity. On the contrary, it’s about not beating ourselves up when we fail and being more likely to try again. It’s about taking more responsibility for ourselves and our families. It improves our perspective and brings awareness that we are not alone. As we take action we gain perspective and empathy for others. It has been said that 80% of life is just showing up. All we have to do is SHOW UP, and be in the present! The words medicine and meditation are both derived from the same Sanskrit word for “Inner Measure.”
May you experience an inner measure of mindfulness and self-compassion this week as you go about your life with intentionality. If you’d like to learn more about mindfulness and be introduced to how you incorporate it into your everyday life, I’d love to have you at my Introduction to Mindfulness class on Friday, July 28th at 8 pm. Register today and I hope to see you then!
Register: www.alongsideyou.ca/store
by Andrew Neufeld | Jun 16, 2017 | Dialectical Behaviour Therapy
In Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) terms, the ability to get what we want in relationships, and to get out of relationships that aren’t good for us, is a skill called “interpersonal effectiveness.” It is one of the four core skills of the DBT program, and one of the skills we teach in our DBT Group as well as in our individual therapy with clients. When I talk about learning how to get what we want in relationships, sometimes people think I’m talking about being manipulative (and perhaps I am). Here’s the thing – we all need to get what we want in relationships. Quite frankly, that’s the reason we have relationships – because we get what we need out of them in a mutually beneficial, symbiotic fashion. Sometimes, however, we have a habit of getting in our own way.
Why is it that we have difficulties with interpersonal effectiveness in our relationships?
Sometimes it’s because we don’t know what we want! Other times our emotions get in the way and even control how we behave. Many times we forgo long term goals and plans for short term benefit. Alternatively, sometimes other people get in our way! Finally, sometimes our own thoughts and beliefs about ourselves and others mess things up.
What are some of the myths that get in the way of achieving our objectives in life? For a lot of people, it’s the mistaken belief that we don’t deserve to get what we want or need. Other times we may see a request as a sign of weakness – that is, we should be able to figure it out, or do it all on our own. Do you ever have a hard time saying, “no,” to people? You’re not alone. Often we get tied up in the belief that saying, “no,” to anyone is inherently selfish, or we should sacrifice our own needs and wellbeing for others.
What about relationships?
One of my favourite stumbling blocks we fall into in relationships is the idea that we shouldn’t have to tell our partners/friends/family what we want, or what we need – they should just know! I don’t know about you, but I haven’t developed the skill of mind-reading yet, and I’m pretty confident that most people haven’t. Yet, especially when we’re under stress this often becomes our implicit, if not explicit expectation of others. Why we do this is a very good question – I believe that it’s because it’s our desire that we are known by those closest to us in such a way that our needs are known and met; sometimes this does happen! Not because we can read minds, but because we have this thing called intuition. The problem comes when we expect this all the time and then believe that we don’t have the responsibility to tell others what our wants and needs are. Ironically, when we are able to relay our wants and needs to others in an effective way, the chances of needs being met skyrocket. Go figure!
One of the important steps to take to be effect in interpersonal situations is to clarify our goals. In DBT terms, we need objectives effectiveness, relationship effectiveness, and self-respect effectiveness. In layman’s terms, we could summarize these three goals as questions:
1) What specific changes do I want from this interaction and how do I get there?
2) How do I want this person to feel about me and what do I have to do to keep this relationship?
3) How do I want to feel about myself and what do I have to do to get there[1]?
In our DBT groups, we teach specific skills that answer these three very important questions. We all want to know how to get what we need from another person, how to keep and improve our relationships, and how to keep and improve upon our own self-respect. In fact, this is why DBT Skills can be great for everybody!
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If you’d like to learn more about Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), or just how to get more of what you need in relationships and how to set healthy boundaries for yourself, please contact us, we’d love to hear from you! You can reach us by phone at 604-283-7827 or by using our contact page today!
[1]From DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition, by Marsha M. Linehan, 2015.
by Brenna Jacobson | Jun 13, 2017 | Mindfulness Meditation
If you’ve tried a meditation practice you probably know how challenging it is to quiet our minds. You may have even experienced the incessant chatter that is the background to our everyday lives. Most people exist in this constant state and find it difficult to shift out of it, into the “rest and digest” parasympathetic mode.
Essential to our health and well-being is the ability to find periods of quiet, stillness and calm. Creating quiet space balanced with activity is important to create equilibrium. Once you experience, and practice becoming still and quiet, you stop missing the special moments in life, you see life in a whole new way – the mindful way. The results of being mindful stay with us after our practice, including better mood, less stress and anxiety, and more focused brain function. We are able to make better choices with more effective problem solving and be proactive rather than reactive in everyday life. We’d love to help you find your way toward mindful living and authentic engagement with the world, because your health will benefit!
Join us at our introductory workshop on Mindfulness where you’ll learn core skills, and build your own practice.
“The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.” – Rumi
Location: Alongside You – #205-4840 Delta Street Ladner
Register: www.alongsideyou.ca/store
Cost: $49+GST
Time: Friday July 28th 8:00-9:45
For more information please contact: Brenna Jacobson (Pelvic Floor Specialty) (RYT 250) Pre-post Natal Consultant.
Phone: 604-283-7827 Ext 709 Email: brenna@alongsideyou.ca
by Meg Neufeld | Jun 13, 2017 | Announcements, Creative Arts Programs, Workshops
Summer 2017 – Introduction to Art Journaling
Date: 4 Session Class in July 2017 (JULY 5TH, 12TH, 19TH, AND 26TH)
Time: 6:30pm-9:00pm
Early Bird Price (Before June 21st): $99+GST
Regular Price: $125+GST | Registration closes on June 28th, 2017
Use coupon code “EARLYBIRDAJ” in our online store prior to May 25th for the early bird pricing
Availability: We require a minimum of 4 individuals and a max of 8 to run the workshop. We will refund all fees if a cancellation occurs and will give as much notice as possible to clients.
Register Now!
Have you ever wanted to try art journaling but need a nudge to get started? Do you journal or write regularly and want to take it to the next level by incorporating visual art? Do you want to learn some new techniques and get your hands on some inspiring prompts? Come and draw, paint, write, explore and create at our Introduction to Art Journaling workshop!
What You Will Learn
Working with your own personal journals, you will be guided through how to:
- Apply a variety of techniques to alter journal pages using a range of lettering, collage, foil, pastels, salt, acrylic paint, alcohol ink and a range of watercolour mediums.
- Carve your own personal lino-cut stamp, make foam-prints, and hand-cut your own stencils.
- Alter pages with folds, pockets, and found material.
- Learn how to build your own on-the-go art journaling kit so you can journal anywhere!
- Incorporate thought provoking prompts and inspirational topics to help you explore what it means to “Be You.”
What You Need To Bring
- A notebook. You generally want something portable (that is easy to pop in your purse or bag and not smaller than 5×7.Picking out a notebook is a very personally thing! Do you want lines or blank pages? Handmade paper or smooth pages?
- You can also choose to bring an old book and alter its pages, using them as backdrops for your work. Make sure the binding is secure and that pages are not coming loose.
- A black thin-line pen or marker. You will be using this constantly to sketch and write.
- A white paint or ink pen for writing or sketching over your pages.
Come with the basics and some of your favorite tools and we will provide the rest!
What We Will Provide For You To Use In The Studio
We have an assortment of:
- Pencils, ink pens, gel pens, and sharpies
- Wide range of papers, foils, tissue, textured and printed material.
- Scissors, paper cutters, tracing tools, templates, stencils, and rulers
- Tape (masking, washi, duct), glue, acrylic medium, gel medium, gesso
- Watercolours (pallet, crayons, pencils, pens), oil paint, and acrylic paint
- Chalk and oil pastels, stamping objects, ink, sponges, brushes, alcohol inks, fabric, and much, much more!
Is This Just For Artists?
Absolutely not! Art journaling can be done by anyone! Art journaling is your own personal place where you can experiment with colour, materials, textures, and script. You don’t have to show your art journal to anyone as they may contain your own personal thoughts and your personal creative expressions and that is okay!
It is the creative process that is important. Your journal is a place for you to work things out, to express your inner most feelings. It doesn’t have to be perfect as you are using your journal as a place to experiment with your creativity. Your art journal is yours alone and you do not have to discuss the content of your journal with anyone unless you wish to do so. We are always here and ready to assist you in any way.
Have Further Questions?
If you have any further questions, please contact Meg Neufeld at the office by calling (604) 283-7827 ext. 703 or by emailing meg@alongsideyou.ca and she will be happy to answer any questions you might have!
by Brenna Jacobson | Jun 9, 2017 | Pre-post Natal
If you are ready to step back into active living and shed the inconvenience of incontinence, I am offering my 6 Week Progressive Program beginning July 1st to help you deal with the symptoms of Stress or Urge Incontinence. Having taught these methods for pelvic rehabilitation for the last seven years, they have proven time and again to either solve the issues surrounding incontinence or greatly decrease symptoms depending on the individual situation. Particularly effective for post-partum moms, but also for those who have been living with chronic symptoms, sometimes for many years! Incontinence is not just a normal part of life we have to accept, and does not go away on its own. My program uses a combination of proven techniques, including the scientific (PF) pelvic floor Pfilates program designed by a urogynecologist, which teaches you strategic, straightforward exercises, posture adjustments, breathing techniques, and lifestyle changes that are all focused on optimum bladder function.
If you or someone you care about has been struggling with incontinence, maybe it’s time to take advantage of the summer months and take back some control! Everybody pees, lots of people pee at inconvenient times – I can help you avoid the inconvenience of incontinence!
Please give me a call, I’d love to work with you!
Location: Alongside You – #205-4840 Delta Street, Ladner
Times: Morning and Evening bookings available for the six 90 minute sessions
Price: $120 per private session, taxes included.
For more information please contact: Brenna Jacobson (Pelvic Floor Specialty) (RYT 250) Pre-post Natal Consultant.
Phone: 604-283-7827 Ext 709 Email: brenna@alongsideyou.ca www.alongsideyou.ca
