by Aelaf Kebebu | Jun 5, 2024 | Anxiety, Connection, Counselling, Mental Health, Mental Health Disorder, Mindfulness Meditation, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Safety, Self Care, Therapy, Trauma
“On occasion, our bodies speak loudly about things we would rather not hear. That is the time to pause and listen.” Verny, Thomas R
Somatic therapy, rooted in the belief that the body is where life happens, empowers individuals to take an active role in their healing journey. It harnesses body techniques to strengthen the evolving dialogue between the client and therapist, fostering a deeper understanding of the relationship between bodily experiences and mental states. By focusing on a holistic perspective, somatic therapy cultivates embodied self-awareness, guiding clients to tune into sensations in specific body parts. This approach has been found to be particularly beneficial for addressing issues such as eating disorders, body image issues, sexual dysfunction, chronic illness, emotion regulation, disassociation, and trauma.
Breathwork in somatic psychotherapy
Breathwork, a cornerstone of somatic therapy, has a rich and diverse history in the realm of physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual healing. Its transformative power can alleviate psychological distress, soften character defenses, release bodily tension, and foster a profound sense of embodiment and tranquility. Somatic therapists employ breathwork techniques, from energizing the body for emotional processing to soothing and grounding hyperactive body parts, offering a hopeful path to healing and self-discovery.
Conscious breathing practices are used:
- to help couples and families to connect through touch
- assist in recovering from trauma
- to promote sensory awareness,
- and to access altered states of consciousness for healing purposes
What is disordered breathing?
Disordered breathing, a term often used in the context of somatic therapy, refers to a state where the physiology and psychology of breathing intertwine. It’s characterized by irregular breathing patterns, which can trigger anxiety or panic and disrupt cognitive processes like decision-making. These patterns can vary based on emotional states, with sighing, increased depth, or rate of breath often associated with anxiety and anger.
Irregular respiratory patterns could be associated with anger, guilt, or deep, weeping sadness. Hyperventilation associated with panic or anxiety creates lower levels of CO2 in the blood, often leading to decreased attention and mental impediments. Loss of concentration, memory loss, poor coordination, distraction, lower reaction time, and lower intellectual functioning are all associated with low CO2.
Feeling anxious: produces a distinguishing pattern of upper-chest breathing, which modifies blood chemistry. This leads to a chain reaction of effects, inducing anxiety and reinforcing the pattern that produced the dysfunctional pattern of breathing in the first place.
Body Posture: has also been cited as a factor in breathing efficiency and patterns. Somatic therapy tends to operationalize posture as a function of personality or character. Somatic therapists often note how one’s posture is presented when describing the emotional state. They track feelings and sensations in the body to help the client make sense of their experience in connection with their body.
What are some benefits of somatic psychotherapy?
- The body is not just a location for distress but also for pleasure, connection, vibrancy, vitality, ease, rest, and expansion. Somatic therapy could make this easier to achieve through processing and resolving difficult bodily experiences.
- Positive self-image: Somatic therapy can help clients feel a positive connection to their bodies and promote self-confidence.
- Positive body image: Somatic therapy can enhance body connection and comfort instead of disrupting body connection and discomfort by pairing difficulty with enjoyable sensations to increase tolerance.
- Enhance the body’s ability to experience and express desire by encouraging the client to Stay with and expand enjoyable sensations.
- Encourages attunement of the body and enhances self-care instead of self-harm and neglect.
- Provides a protective space where clients can re-associate with their bodily experience.
In conclusion, our bodies contain a complicated, unified, multilevel cellular memory system that allows us to be fully functional human beings, and attending to our body’s needs could enhance our overall mental and physical well-being.
If you are interested in somatic psychotherapy, please contact our Client Care Team to connect with one of our clinicians.
References
Stupiggia, M. (2019). Traumatic Dis-Embodiment: Effects of trauma on body perception and body image. In H. Payne, S. Koch, and J. Tantia (Eds.), The Routledge International Handbook of Embodied Perspectives in Psychotherapy (pp. 389-396). Routledge
Verny, T. R. (2021). The Embodied Mind: Understanding the Mysteries of Cellular Memory, Consciousness, and Our Bodies. Simon and Schuster.
Victoria, H. K., & Caldwell, C. (2013). Breathwork in body psychotherapy: Clinical applications. Body, Movement and Dance in Psychotherapy, 8(4), 216- 228. https://doi.org/10.1080/17432979.2013.828657
by Jonathan Hers | Apr 10, 2024 | Counselling, Therapy, Tips
How can I best prepare for my therapy session?
Good question.
It’s best to avoid this situation: you put in the time to book another therapy session, you pay the money (gulp), you put it in your schedule, on the day-of you get your notification reminding you of your appointment, you travel to the office, you wait in the waiting room, you are welcomed into a room, you get to the chair, sit down, get asked the question, “what would you like to work on today?” A silence follows. And then you answer: “I don’t know.”
This happens a lot and I’d like to suggest gently that this is not an ideal situation.
I do want to start with saying that even if this is you, don’t be too hard on yourself. I’ve started many therapy sessions sitting in silence not knowing how to begin… and yes I’ve uttered these words. At other times I’ve just wanted to update my therapist on fun life events or ask simple questions that I’ve been pondering.
Even more, simply by booking a session you are already getting the gears moving in the change process. There are six stages in the change process (pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance, and termination). By booking a therapy session it means that you are past the first stage, which is pre-contemplation. The change process has already begun simply by contemplating your situation, deciding that you could use some help navigating your way forward, and then reaching out for help. The fact of having booked an appointment is substantial!
And yet, this question still remains relevant: how can I maximize my time in therapy? How can I make this investment even more fruitful? How might I go about preparing for therapy?
You want to get the best bang for your buck! Counselling – a valuable, set-part space and time for growth – can be enhanced by preparation.
So, how might one prep?
I’ve got three things for you: first, ten questions to ponder. Second, three tips. Third, one general attitude to develop.
Ten Questions to Prepare for Therapy:
I read a quote that said, “the best answers begin with good questions.”
I’ve compiled a list of questions that you can ponder before your sessions that will enhance your time together. I’ve gathered them from personal experience and from other clinical counsellors who have given me their insights on how one might best prepare for therapy.
- Whats not working? What do I want different? How will I know if it’s different?
- What do I have a hard time admitting to myself?
- What gets in the way of me getting to where I want to go? Bonus points if it’s a repeat offender.
- What do I want to change about my life? Make sure it’s practical, measureable, and reasonable.
- How would I have to adjust my time each week to achieve this change?
- How might I sabotage my plans to make this change?
- What is my role in maintaining the problem I am wanting to address? What do I gain from its existence?
- What could we focus on today that would help me leave feeling like it was useful?
- What stuck with me from the last session?
- What is bothering me the most right now? Is there something I can do to fix it? How willing am I to fix it?
Those are some questions to ponder before sessions that will help you get started in the right direction.
Three Tips to Prepare for Therapy:
Here are some other practical tips that you could take in to help as well:
- Have an ongoing tab on your phone or in your journal of topics, subjects, challenges that you are wanting to explore in therapy. Whenever new thoughts or insights or feelings rise up that are relevant, write those down in your notes.
- Take ten minutes before each session to mentally prepare. This moment of thinking, mindfulness, and silence will help you settle into how you are doing and what is going to be most important to focus on.
- Finally, a helpful reminder is that every session is NOT going to be groundbreaking. This is normal. Just like regular life, lots of the time we are not on the mountaintop, we are just in the thick of it. Processing our mixed emotions, asking good questions, risking vulnerability in the presence of a compassionate other. Let yourself embrace the process of growth and transformation which does not happen overnight. I’ve heard some studies that suggest that it takes at least 5-6 sessions to start to experience deeper therapeutic gains and other studies that say it may take up to 40 sessions to achieve the changes you are wanting to make.
Therapy is a bold endeavour to self-examine the state of our lives, develop understanding, and hope for growth. I’m continually left in wonder, awe, and reverence at the courage of those enter therapy and display this level of humility, vulnerability, and courage.
AN ATTITUDE TO DEVELOP
I want to end with another fundamental of therapy that might help your mindset going into each session.
Bill Gates once said, “Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.” In the same vein, Richard Schwartz, a seasoned therapist, encourages all of us to develop an attitude of openness and receptivity to the many excellent teachers that we have in life. He writes, “I’m not talking about the gurus, priests, professors, or parents, although they can certainly help you learn your lessons if they’ve learned theirs. I’m talking instead about the difficult events and people that trigger you—your tor-mentors. By tormenting you, they mentor you about what you need to heal.”
This gets at a deep truth that undergirds therapy as a whole: within the mess of our greatest challenges, discomfort, or pain, is the potential for transformation and growth. “But wait, I want to get rid of those very problems!” True, we do want change and that involves hoping for peace and order. However, the way forward is often not what we initially expect. When we are able to befriend these tor-mentors we find our pathway to healing and growth. When a seed dies, new growth breaks through. After a field has laid fallow, will it be ready to be planted again. The treasure is hidden behind the guarding dragon. The promised land comes after the trek through the desert.
Think of the wise people you know in life, have they had an easy life without challenge or suffering? No, quite the opposite. These people persevered amidst great adversity. Navigated complex messy obstacles.
This is the posture that will also aid your therapeutic journey: edge towards facing the given challenges we have, the internal limitations we have to admit, confounding situations we are plagued with and from that place we attempt to develop a posture of receptivity to these tor-mentors.
Deep breath. This seems like a lot, and it is. And that is why we don’t do this alone! We need a safe companion for the journey. Therapists can prove helpful companions to enter into this journey of growth, resilience, and change.
If you’ve been on the fence about trying therapy, we’d love to hear from you. Starting therapy can be an intimidating thing – we’ve all been there. If this post is resonating with you, give us a shout and we’d be happy to sit down with you.
by Jonathan Hers | Jan 3, 2024 | Connection, Counselling, Guidance, Mental Health
New to Counselling?
Are you new to this counselling thing? Are you contemplating giving it a try? Do you need to go to counselling? Or just curious as to what the fuss is all about?
Well, here’s my attempt at giving you a little glimpse into the beauty of this phenomenon that is growing in its cultural acceptance and perhaps this can help you figure out whether signing up for counselling is the next right move for you. I speak as a fellow human who has attended counselling and as a therapist who has sat opposite to many who have courageously sought out help through the medium of therapy.
Here are some stats to gain a wider picture:
- Statista conducted a survey of 1,650 people ranging from 18 years and older in 2020 via telephone interview. They asked the respondents, “in the past 12 months, have you received any counseling or treatment for your mental health?” 43.7% of respondents from British Columbia said “yes.” New Brunswick wins (or loses depending on how you look at it…) at 60.1% of respondents responding with “yes.” Manitoba was the lowest at 27.7%.
- Another study found that between 2019 and 2021 the percentage of adults who had received mental health treatment in the past 12 months grew from 19.2% to 21.6% (Terlizzi & Schiller, 2022).
- Statistics Canada found that in 2018 17.8% of Canadians aged 12 and older reported needing some help with their mental health. This is around 5.3 million people. That’s a lot of people! Out of that 5.3 million, 43.8% reported that their needs were either not met (they did not go to therapy) or were partially met (they went to therapy but it was not enough).
What do these three sources tell us?
Simply put, therapy is being accessed more and more. Perhaps, we are catching on to the fact that our mental health is worth investing in. It really is. Gone are the days when therapy was reserved for those that we lazily labeled (or diagnosed) with words like “crazy” or “problematic.”
5.3 million Canadians acknowledged the need for assistance with their mental wellbeing.
Deeper than just being accessed more, these studies are perhaps a helpful reminder that you are not alone, not part of a small fringe group, but… dare I say… human. Not yet got this “life” thing figured out. Normal? I think so.
What Does Therapy Look Like?
So, if you’re new to this or not yet bought into it, give me a moment to paint a picture of what it looks like:
You arrive in a cozy office, sit in the waiting room, another fellow human – your counsellor – will arrive and call your name, together you’ll enter a room with a couch and perhaps a few chairs. You sit down. And then…
This is what you may see on the outside but so much is happening internally.
You are setting out on a grand adventure.
You are escaping the noise and bustle of every-day life.
You are marching out into battle.
You are sitting by a warm fire on a stormy winter evening.
You are resolving unfinished business.
You are tending a wound that no-one around you sees.
You are aspiring and hoping for who you could become.
You are settling into who you are, becoming more at home in your own skin.
If you break your arm, you go to a doctor. This doctor will first assess your injury and then set you off on a path of healing and recovery – aligning your arm, bracing it, and advising you on what activities may or may not be achievable in light of your wound.
In a similar way, you may have experienced various psychological/relational/emotional challenges – a huge setback in your work life and left feeling fragile, recurring conflict in your most intimate relationships, abuse from people that were supposed to be your protectors – and the question remains: where do I go to sort through/respond/heal these challenges?
The added challenge of mental health is its invisible quality, which leaves us vulnerable to the pushback: “is this just in my head? Can I just push through and deal with this?” A broken arm just seems so simple and obvious. However, mental pain and suffering left unattended can fester in similar ways than an untreated wound. Though, it may come out in angry outbursts, tension in your shoulders (perhaps its not so invisible…), the inability to know what you feel, a low sense of self-worth, or intrusive thoughts that plague you every time you slow down.
This is where counselling becomes useful in attending to your mental well-being. It is true that humans are resilient and often, even after experiencing traumatic life events, people bounce back with courage and vitality. And yet, counselling is a protected space to address and tend to our relational, emotional, personal challenges.
How does counselling accomplish change?
At very least it accomplishes this through undoing our unbearable aloneness. Dr. Diana Fosha passionately declares that our relational, emotional, personal challenges largely stem from “being alone in the face of overwhelming emotion” (Fosha, 2000). Thus, therapy, at its best, works to undo aloneness.
Judith Herman, the legendary trauma therapist, writes that “the fundamental premise of the psychotherapeutic work is a belief in the restorative power of truth-telling” (Herman, 2015, p.181). In the presence of another human, can you share honestly how you are doing? Can you express, in detail and with clarity, the truth of your being? As you dive into the biggest challenges that seem to plague your life through this act of “truth-telling”, you are met with wise attentiveness and deep compassion.
Bessel Van Der Kolk, the medical director of the Trauma Center in Brookline, Massachusetts, says “being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives” (Van der Kolk, 2015, p. 81).
A Safe Relationship
Do you have relationships marked by trust, safety, honesty? How can you tell?
Bessell highlights the importance of each of us being heard and seen by another person in our lives. We need to be held in someone else’s mind and heart. He writes, “no doctor can write a prescription for friendship and love; these are complex and hard-earned capacities” (Van der Kolk, 2015, p. 81).
Do you feel a desire to be met with this sort of attentiveness and care? Does it feel too good to be true? Too simple? Fair responses. A helpful question to explore is what the costs are for not receiving this hard-earned capacities?
I know I need them. And as I step into vulnerability—this act of receiving and trusting—I find myself walking lighter, thinking with greater clarity regarding my relationships and problems, and feeling more at home in my body and in this world. Perhaps you could call it feeling mentally healthy.
I encourage you to find relationships that are characterized by these qualities. Whether or not they are counsellors. It will change your life. It’s changed my life.
Here at Alongside You, these quotes inspire our work; We offer award-winning counselling services that are shot through with these qualities: a safe context to be seen, held in the mind of another, and this “hard-earned” love that Bessell speaks about. If you wish to learn more, contact us to see how we can help.
References
Elflein, J. (2022, August 31). Adults who received past-year Mental Health Counseling Canada 2020. Statista. Retrieved from, https://www.statista.com/statistics/1328941/adults-who-received-past-year-mental-health-counseling-canada-by-province/
Facts and figures. Fraser. (n.d.). Retrieved from, https://vancouver-fraser.cmha.bc.ca/impact/influencing-policy/facts-and-figures/#:~:text=Between%2019.6%25%20and%2026.2%25%20of,a%20mental%20illness%20each%20year.
Fosha, D. (2000). The transforming power of affect: A model for Accelerated Change. Basic Books.
Herman, J. L. (2015). Trauma and recovery. Basic Books.
Statistics Canada. (2019, October 7). Mental health care needs, 2018. Health Fact Sheets. Retrieved from, https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/82-625-x/2019001/article/00011-eng.htm
Terlizzi, E. P., & Schiller, J. S. (2022). Mental health treatment among adults aged 18-44: United States, 2019-2021. US Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Health Statistics.
Van der Kolk, B. A. (2015). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Books.
by Dr. Catalina Zilveti | Jul 24, 2023 | Children, Counselling, Mental Health, Play Therapy
One of the most common questions I’ve been asked by parents is, “What is play therapy, and why is it the preferred way to work with children in therapy?
When adults begin their counselling journeys, they use words to express and communicate their thoughts and feelings. Young children do not generally communicate this same way, often because they don’t have the language to express what is happening in their internal world. They use play instead of words and let their play speak for them. Through play, children communicate their thoughts, worries, feelings just like adults do with words.
A child’s natural inclination is to play. Through play they are able to learn about the world around them and themselves, for example, I like playing with blocks but not drawing. To an adult, play can look like an unproductive activity, but appearances can be deceiving. For children, play is serious business. It is never a waste of time. It is through play that children practice limitless things in a free and safe environment, until they have mastered them, preparing children for “the real world”- as adults call it- all without the child, or the child’s parents, realizing it.
Therapeutically, play gives the therapist a peek into the child’s rich inner world. The diverse ways in which children interact with different toys can reveal their feelings, fears, anxieties, desires, and past experiences. Children will act these out in their play and, at the same time, self-soothe/regulate, find novel solutions to problems, and learn.
What Is Play Therapy Helpful For?
Generally, play therapy is used with children between the ages of 3 and 12 years for presenting issues including, but not limited to:
- Problem behaviors at home or school
- Facing medical procedures
- Angry and/or aggressive behaviors
- Family divorce or separation, loss of a loved one in the family, birth of a sibling
- Natural disasters
- Traumatic events
- Domestic violence, abuse, or neglect
- Bullying
- Anxiety, depression, and phobias
- Deficits in social skills
- Repressed feelings
The play therapist will typically observe how the child plays during the sessions and may intervene from time to time, depending on the child and the child’s therapeutic needs. Sessions are tailored to each individual child. Therapy goals are assessed in the initial sessions and periodically, thereafter.
What Does a Session Look Like?
Toys and other items are set out in the session room so that children can reach them easily. My preferred method is allowing the child to choose the items he/she wants to use during the session, much like an adult will choose what to discuss in a counselling session. Items used in these sessions can include:
- Play-doh
- Paints, coloring pencils/markers and crayons
- Dolls
- Miniature house (simulates child’s house) with figures of family members and furniture
- Toy cars
- Doctor’s kit
- Play money
- Puppets
- Sand tray
- Board games and playing cards
- Legos
- Blocks
- Action figures
- A soft ball
As a play therapist, I find these sessions with children to be not only therapeutically helpful, but also great fun and incredibly rewarding professionally! I know that play therapy can be a bit mysterious for parents and I hope this article helps you understand it a bit more. If your child is struggling, I would love to work with them, and with you to see how play therapy could help!
If you’d like to know more, or book an appointment, click here to contact the Client Care Team. We love your little ones!
by Nik Stimpson | May 24, 2023 | Anxiety, Counselling, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, Mental Health, Self Confidence, Stress, Therapy, Tips
Do you find yourself constantly worrying about every possible scenario that could go wrong? You’re not alone. Constant worrying, overthinking, and feeling out of control can take a big toll on your mental health and well-being. This makes it incredibly difficult to focus on daily tasks or enjoy life to its fullest. But there is a solution: Coping Ahead is an effective technique from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) that helps you prepare for stress and manage emotions ahead of time.
Eventualities
When I was 19 years old I learned to pilot gliders (airplanes without engines, also called sailplanes). Before each flight, we would always go through our pre-flight checks, even if the aircraft had just landed from a previous flight. We would make sure all of the controls worked as expected, the instruments were reading correctly, and of other important things worth double-checking when you’re propelling yourself two thousand feet into the sky!
The very last step of every pre-flight check was to review “eventualities.”
Though it’s been many years now since I last flew, I still remember vividly what I would say out loud to myself at this step, time and time again:
“If a wing drops on the launch and I cannot recover, I will release the launch cable and land ahead. At a safe height and speed I will start to climb. In the event of a launch failure, I will release the cable and lower the nose to a recovery attitude, and gain sufficient speed before maneuvering. I will land ahead if possible. Otherwise, I will turn downwind, which today is [left or right] and complete an abbreviated circuit or find a safe landing solution. The wind today is ___ knots which means my minimum approach speed is ___ knots.”
Coping Ahead saves time and effort.
The reason for talking through these eventualities in so much detail on the ground is that you’ve already made all of your decisions in the event of an emergency. In an unlikely situation where the pressure is on and seconds count, you don’t need to waste precious time or mental effort deciding what to do. You’ve already thought it through, and simply must follow your plan.
And this skill isn’t just for pilots! In DBT, coping ahead is an emotion regulation skill that can help you rehearse strategies ahead of time to better handle stressful situations or uncomfortable emotions. By visualizing and planning out how you will cope with challenging situations in advance, you start to feel more confident in your ability to face them, boosting your self-esteem and reducing stress.
What’s the difference between Coping Ahead and overthinking?
Overthinking is a common response to stress that can be counterproductive. It is also a common feature of anxiety that involves dwelling on worst-case scenarios, often leading to a cycle of negative thoughts and emotions. It can be triggered by a wide range of every-day stressors or perceived threats.
On the other hand, rather than going in circles about problems, Coping Ahead involves thinking about solutions. It is a deliberate and proactive skill, rather than a reactive response that actually impairs your problem-solving abilities.
How do I learn to Cope Ahead?
If you want to learn how to Cope Ahead, there are some practical tips you can try.
- Identify potential stressors in your life, such as upcoming deadlines or social events.
- Plan coping strategies that work for you, such as deep breathing, positive self-talk, or seeking support from friends.
- Rehearse your coping strategies in your mind, visualizing yourself using them and picturing how they will help.
- Lastly, remember to take some time to relax and ground yourself. Well done!
If you are struggling with…
- Overthinking
- Low self-confidence
- Anxiety
- A sense of low control in your life
- Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
- Other conditions that cause intense emotional reactions to common life stressors
…then consider seeking support from a mental health professional. Coping Ahead is a skill that can be learned and practiced, and therapy can provide a safe and supportive environment for developing this skill. Contact our clinic to learn more about how we can help.
