by Fiona Scott | Dec 15, 2025 | Communication, Family, holiday, Mental Health, Parenting, Seasonal, Self Care, Teens, Tips
Let’s face it: for every Hallmark movie and overly-sentimental advert on our tv showing happy families enjoying together time in peace and harmony – there’s a very stressed-out parent, grandparent or family member trying to figure out a way for a group of people with their own issues, needs, wants and opinions to all be in the same place, at the same time, without World War III erupting …
If you add in a 2SLGBTQIA+ family member into the mix, there are many opportunities for accidental (or deliberate) offense to be given, feelings to be hurt, and opinions to be shared (whether everyone wants to hear them or not). So, if you have a 2SLGBTQIA+ teen or young adult in your family, how can you make sure to be the support they need at this time of year?
Firstly, I think it’s important to recognize that, with the current state of the world as it is, being a young 2SLGBTQIA+ individual is an extremely vulnerable place to be. And so our kiddos need adults in their life who are willing to ensure that they are protected, supported and encouraged. That is one of the reasons that the Step Forward Society has financially enabled Alongside You to start a mental health support group for 2SLGBTQIA+ youth, so that there are even more adults in these young peoples’ lives who are there to be part of their ‘team’.
In order to be the best ally you can for a young 2SLGBTQIA+ person, here are some hints, tips and suggestions. These are by no means the only things we can do – but it’s a start to the conversation.
Understand uniqueness
Please remember that every situation is different, every person is different, and every person on earth has their own set of needs to be met in order to thrive. So that’s the first tip – don’t assume! ASK. Here’s just a couple of examples: ask family members you haven’t seen for a while or don’t know well what pronouns they prefer – this normalizes the expectation that peoples’ pronouns will be respected, and makes it more likely that others in the family will follow suit. If you are organizing a family outing, ask if anyone will need access to universal/non-gendered bathroom. If you’re not sure, ask!
Help is only helpful if it’s helping!
Ask what YOUR 2SLGBTQIA+ young person would like help with – are they willing to stand up to homophobic Uncle Zebediah* when he goes on a rant or do they need you to intervene? Do they want you to engage in a stand-up fight for their rights, or would that make them want to melt into the carpet, and they’d rather just be rescued and avoid that particular discussion for another year? In our desire to be our kiddos’ dragon-slayer, and show our pride for them, it can be easy to lose track of the fact that what we’d like to do may be less important right now than what they need us to do.
‘My House, My Rules’
If you have family members who cannot be relied upon to ‘play nice in the sandbox’ around your 2SLGBTQIA+ young person, you can absolutely set the tone if you are hosting. Some families have rules around ‘no politics’, or ‘no religion’ at family gatherings – and if your kiddo is not in a good place to be questioned (or doesn’t feel like educating others, which is absolutely their right) then it is your right to set that expectation with guests in your home.
In order to save everyone embarrassment, and stop feelings running high, I would suggest that you gently and kindly bring this up prior to any large family gathering, so that the expectation is set. You could even have some allies in your family who are willing to spot any potential tinder-points and rush in to ‘deal’ with Uncle Zebediah (eg get him talking about his antique shoe polish collection).
The Great Escape
No, not the 1963 Steve McQueen movie (although that is a good flick!). I’m talking about giving the young 2SLGBTQIA+ person you are supporting options – this could look like asking them to help with younger family members (so that they’re simply not free to engage in a conversation with Uncle Zebediah). Obviously, if they enjoy kids, that’s great – but whatever plan you come up with (together with them, of course) – should be something that they enjoy, too.
Maybe this looks like a family hike, or trip to a Christmas village or lights installation, so that people are walking around, splitting into groups, having something else to focus on (and there is an opportunity for them to ‘disappear’ and gather themselves for a few minutes if they’re getting overwhelmed). Or a trip to the theatre or movies so that opportunities for conversation are naturally limited.
This could also look like making sure that your kiddo has opportunities to get out of the house and visit with their friends over the holiday, so that they have a pressure valve built in to their break. Same goes for you! Try to make sure you get opportunities to have a break, so that you can fully appreciate the holidays.
Comfort and Joy
Comfort clothing, comfort foods, comfort shows … there are many ways in which we use comfort items to help us regulate our emotions. You may have an expectation that the whole family dress up in matching Christmas PJs for photos and be frustrated if your kid doesn’t want to comply. But perhaps they’re experiencing body dysphoria and this make them feel worse about themselves, but their vintage Metallica hoody makes them feel OK.
Or perhaps you want everyone to watch ‘A Christmas Story’ and it’s frustrating that someone in your family wants to watch Brooklyn 99, or the Gilmore Girls, or a Studio Ghibli movie, again. Slaving for hours over the perfect holiday meal, only to have your kiddo rummage in the pantry for ramen noodles? I bet that raises some hackles!
My point is that we seek comfort because it helps us to cope with our emotions and, in higher stress times, the tendency is to look for the things we know well, so there are no surprises, and nothing new for our brains and nervous systems to have to adapt to. So, if you’re noticing these comfort-seeking behaviours in your 2SLGBTQIA+ child, it’s a sure sign that they’re feeling stress in some way. At this point, it’s worth asking yourself what your intention for the holiday is – do you want it all to ‘look’ the way you imagined in your mind, regardless of whether everyone is happy or not? Or do you want to make people feel at ease, encourage each member of the family to join in by meeting their needs – and in the process, have a chance to experience real joy.
Summary
There are as many options to support your young 2SLGBTQIA+ loved ones as there are colours in the Pride rainbow! But the take-away is that validating our kiddos’ feelings, paying attention to their needs and asking what truly would help them the most are all good ways to make sure that everyone has a peaceful, happy and fulfilling holiday.
All of us at Alongside You and Step Forward Society wish you a very happy, healthy and peaceful holiday season, whatever and however you celebrate.
*our apologies to anyone actually named Zebediah! No offense intended.
by Andrew Neufeld | Dec 15, 2025 | Grief, holiday, hope, Mental Health, Seasonal
It’s been a while since I wrote for our blog, and as usual, it’s motivated by what I’m noticing in my own experience leading up to the holidays. The title of the blog is a bit tongue-in-cheek – anyone who knows my reading habits well knows that I love C.S. Lewis, who has a particularly brilliant book called Surprised By Joy. Surprised By Grief, however, is my attempt at humanizing the holidays, with a nod to my own discoveries of grief this year.
There are many definitions of grief, and certainly, many definitions amongst professionals. We were fortunate to have a grief expert, Dena Moitoso, do a lunch-and-learn with our team this year and it was very helpful (and yes, she is in fact, the mother of our very own Marcia Moitoso!). She highlighted so many important things about grief, but one of the most important in my mind, is that the experience of grief by an individual is heavily influenced by how their grief comes to be, and how it’s treated by those around them. I have to admit that through the course of my life I haven’t really given my own grief a lot of attention, understanding, or even acknowledgement. Perhaps it’s that German-Ukrainian Mennonite upbringing again, perhaps it’s my personality, or likely all of the above that has lead to this. Perhaps it’s neurodivergence – I know my ADHD certainly impacts how I see, and process many things. Whatever the case may be, I’ve been intentional this year to pay attention, mainly because I haven’t really had much of a choice because it’s made itself known in ways that weren’t particularly considerate of my desire to engage.
How It Started
It started with the loss of our dog, Buttercup, this past May. She was 4 days short of her 15th birthday when she passed. Understandably, it was heartbreaking for our kids, and for my wife. My kids can’t remember a time without Buttercup, and Buttercup was a constant companion for Meg, particularly in the early years post-accident. Buttercup could always tell how Meg’s pain was each day without Meg ever having to say anything. What I didn’t expect was how hard it hit me. I wrote a couple of posts on LinkedIn about it here, and here. Don’t get me wrong, I loved our dog, but I’m very much a dog owner who differentiates between dogs and humans. I didn’t think it would hit me as hard as it did, but here we are. What was different this time around was that I let it. I shared openly about it, with people in my life, with clients (as it seemed appropriate to do so), and publicly. I let myself cry, and that does not come easily to me, though I’m getting better at it.
Then, I was confronted with the grief of my own mental health journey. It’s still something I’m unpacking, but between my therapist not letting me off the hook, and me intentionally creating some space in my own life to pay attention, I’m starting to understand just how impactful it’s been on my life. Long story very short, I’ve started to grieve for the kid who discovered what depression was at age 6. I’ve started to grieve the terror he felt for the next 20 years, and all of the things he felt he had to do or not do in dealing with it.
This was amplified recently when we lost a client to suicide at the clinic. It always hits therapists hard when they lose a client, and it’s why we work as a team here, not in isolation. What surprised me about this recent experience was that, while of course I was heartbroken for the family and for our therapist who had worked with them, I immediately connected with my own experience earlier in life where it very well could have been me. That’s when the grief hit like a freight train – for myself, and for the client, and for their family.
Most recently, grief hit while I was experiencing a lot of joy. My wife and I don’t give each other gifts really, we don’t want more stuff – so we give each other time. We do our best to get away for a night together and eat good food, do things we enjoy, all without the myriad of distractions that go on in our daily life. We ended up at the Good Noise gospel choir concert downtown, directed by our dear friend, Warren Dean Flandez. It was phenomenal, and full of so much joy. And the grief hit me big time in the middle of the concert, and surprise would be an understatement. And then it was book-ended by joy.
All this to say, grief is complicated. Joy can also be complicated in that it can co-occur with grief and often does (in my experience). The Christmas story and the holidays bring both front and centre to me, particularly this year, and it happens for so many. We recently collaborated with Heron Hospice Society, Estuary Church, and Ladner United Church to put on an event called Circle of Light for community members who have lost loved ones. It was a chance to acknowledge the dialectic that are the holidays – so much joy, and often, so much grief.
How It’s Going
Christmas is a time I’ve struggled with a lot over the years with my depression – feeling like we’re supposed to be happy, when sometimes we’re just not. Or maybe we are happy, but it’s complicated with sadness, or grief, or both. It struck me this week as I was reflecting on the Christmas story, that the first Christmas was likely full of these things too. If you’ve read the story, Mary and Joseph were travelling many miles, with a pregnant Mary riding a donkey, to comply with the Roman census. When we read that “there’s no room in the Inn,” it doesn’t mean that they couldn’t stay at the Four Seasons and had to settle for the Holiday Inn Express. No, it means they found a cave, full of dirty animals that smelled like something most of can’t even imagine, and gave birth to a baby that in the Christian tradition, was to be the saviour of the world. Not how I would have planned it, and I’m pretty sure there were some complicated emotions.
What often amplifies this for me (and this is my belief, not something I am trying to push on anyone else), is that according to the Bible, Jesus would grow up and become a sacrifice for humanity to restore the relationship between humanity and an all-knowing, all-powerful God. Those last bits are important. What this means is that God knew what would happen to this baby before it was born, and He chose to send Him anyways. The part that gets me, is that He made this choice, knowing who I am and all of my imperfections, and did it anyways. I can’t image the level of grief, and the level of joy He experienced in this part of the story.
I tell you all of this, not because I’m trying to preach in a non-religious blog for a non-religious mental health clinic. I’m telling you this because it’s necessary in order for you to understand my experience and what I’m trying to share with you – because my depression, my anxiety, some of the hard things I’ve experienced in life, some of the things I’ve done to try to deal with these things in unhealthy ways, have often led me to believe that I’m unworthy, that I’m a hopeless case, that I’ll never feel better, and many other things.
This is why this Christmas story is so important in my own journey of grief – it helps me know that I’m loved, that I’m worth it, and that there’s hope, and it can get better.
Hope For The Future
What I’m hoping for in sharing this with you, is that you’ll hear me saying, “However you’re feeling going into the holidays is ok.” If you’re grieving, I’m with you. If you’re experiencing joy, I’m with you. If you’re wondering how you’re going to survive the holiday mayhem, I’ve been there and I’m with you. If you’re looking forward to it, I’m with you.
Feelings are complicated. We don’t get to choose them, we just have them. If you’re human, you’ve experienced things that lead to grief and it’s ok to feel that too. The good news is that we’re capable of holding seemingly opposite feelings at the same time. We can experience joy, sadness, hope, and grief together. That’s not you being a mess, or a screwup, or “too much,” that’s you being human with the rest of us. You just don’t usually see it on a Christmas card.
If you’ve made it this far, I appreciate the effort and I hope it’s been worth it. Since this is my last chance to do so before the end of the year, I want to say thank you for letting us take care of you here at Alongside You. We’re far from perfect, and we’re human just like you, but we do always, and will always do our best to be both human, and helpful in caring for you.
My hope is that whatever traditions you have over these holidays, that you’ll be kind to yourself, that you’ll know that grief doesn’t take a holiday and if it shows up for you that you’re not alone, and that there’s hope. I appreciate every client who trusts us to take care of them, and I’m excited for what 2026 holds for all of us.
Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and Happy New Year to you and all of your loved ones.
by Kole Lawrence | Dec 8, 2025 | Communication, Family, holiday, Mental Health, Seasonal, Self Care, Teens, Tips
The holiday time is supposed to be this stretch of (often, freezing cold) time of laughing and warmth and horribly-corny-but-at-the-same-time-wonderfully-campy movies. And for many of us queers, parts of that holiday stretch are the best. But the holidays can also bring a sort of pressure that really isn’t normally talked about—it’s the pressure of going to, or being in, “home” environments that don’t always understand or show up for the you you.
This time of year can be, complicated. There’s often excitement and love mixed in, and also a lot of emotional navigating. For many queer youth, the holidays aren’t just holidays. They can be a kind of performance season where we try and pretend the only ugly part is our sweaters (which are actually just cute btw).
The unseen stuff queer & trans youth carry into December
Everyone’s experience is different. But some of our experiences are actually common. Here’s what we hear:
- Feeling watched. Not necessarily in a negative way. But even good intentions and genuine curiosity can feel like a lot when it’s nonstop. “What name should I call you?” can be fine, but who wants to answer it over and over and over, let alone to the same few people.
- Being asked questions you didn’t prepare for. “Do you have a boyfriend? Girlfriend?” “What pronouns, champ?” “What is the whole gender thing anyway?” Hey, I like talking about myself as much as the next person, but dare we chill? Since when are deeply personal and complex sexuality and gender identity transformations small talk? Sometimes it’s okay to just want to talk about Taylor Swift’s new album or Kris Jenner’s plastic surgery.
- Dealing with traditions that don’t fit anymore. Traditions can be such a mixed bag. Lots of us have really wonderful memories of traditions we did with our families, but often times traditions weren’t designed with queer and trans identities in mind. What’s important to remember though is if it doesn’t feel like we can be authentic in them, it’s okay to accept them as memories instead of rules.
Some quick tips if the holidays feel like… a lot
Here are just a few things that can help when the holiday energy starts feeling heavy. No “magic” here, just actual and doable things that may work for you:
- Use the bathroom as a breather. Okay, it sounds wild, but taking a few-minute break to breathe, text a friend, just chill out, can totally help just rest your nervous system which can make the next hour feel lighter.
- Have a couple of “neutral response” lines ready. Things like “I’m not getting into that today,” or “It’s a long story, but I’m okay,” can shut down uncomfortable questions without creating more chaos.
- Keep a comforting object in your pocket. Are Tamagotchis still a thing? Think about keeping something in your pocket that that you can fidget with if you want to or something that will just maybe help make you feel more grounded generally.
- Decide ahead of time what topics are off-limits for you. If someone wanders into something you’ve already decided is just not your preference to get into, remember to just not get into it if you can.
- Let yourself keep some things private. It’s not your job to educate everyone! You don’t have to justify language or identity. Privacy isn’t necessarily avoidance—things are allowed to feel and be personal.
The reality is that a lot of queer and trans youth head into December carrying stuff that isn’t always obvious. And sure, this time of year can be stressful or awkward or just… a lot. But it can also make space for embodying the version of yourself that feels honest that day. Remember: you are allowed to protect your peace. Keep honouring yourself, no less this month than any other month. You are okay. <3
Resources
LGBT National Help Centre
Free, confidential peer-support for 2SLGBTQ+ folks. Multiple lines including Youth, Seniors, and Coming Out support (not 24/7).
Website: https://lgbthotline.org
988 Suicide Crisis Helpline
Call or text for immediate support (not queer- or trans-specific).
Dial 988
Trans Lifeline
Peer-run support line for trans and nonbinary people (call only).
Phone: 877-330-6366
Website: https://translifeline.org
by Leah Jivan | Nov 7, 2025 | holiday, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Seasonal, Self Care, Stress
As we enter the final few weeks of the year, a mix of both excitement and stress begins to set in. For many people, this winter season brings the anticipation of several celebrations – Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Bodhi Day – each filled with valued traditions, excitement, and meaningful connections with others. Whether you celebrate these holidays or not, their presence is felt everywhere you go – from tree lights and extremely crowded shopping malls, to last minute runs to the grocery stores to host festive gatherings with loved ones.
Hectic Holidays
With the festive ambiance filling the air all around us, there is often an unspoken conversation around the end of year stress. Whether it’s meeting work deadlines, navigating financial stress, hosting gatherings or simply trying to wrap things up that have accumulated, fatigue, burnout and feeling all over the place during this time of year are all too common.
As a student, December has often felt like three months packed into one. The weeks leading up to the holidays was filled with joy and anticipation while simultaneously also juggling assignments, deadlines and fatigue. This rollercoaster of a month somehow always comes as a surprise every year despite trying to prepare in advance.
If you’ve ever found yourself feeling that way, you’re not alone. Over the past few weeks, I’ve done some research and taken some time to reflect on what has helped me manage this bustling and hectic season. My hope is that by sharing these tips, you can take what resonates with you to help make it through this final stretch. I also recognize that this time of year can be difficult for some as it can bring up personal memories linked to more challenging times in their lives
These tips are universal and can be used whether or not you celebrate any holidays in December or throughout the year. They can serve as a guide to wrap up the year with more intention and hope:
Creating Intentional Moments to Pause
One of the most impactful practices I have incorporated in my life is to try and intentionally make space to pause. In the book, “Mindful Relationships: Seven Skills for Success”, the author notes the basic need to rest and repair is grounded in our physiology – however, many of us replace the need to rest with caffeine, sugar, exercise or living on the edge which overtime, leads to physical and emotional burnout (Bullock, 2016).
Living in a world where we are constantly being pulled in different directions by school, work or personal obligations and being reminded of the ever-present “hustle culture”, the idea of even attempting to take a break can feel impossible. Bullock (2016) highlights the common mindset in our society of “work hard, play hard” which gives into the idea that we “should” constantly occupy ourselves with not one minute to spare. Intentional pauses in our lives can take many forms. I’ve personally found that simply taking five minutes before bed to process my whole day or going for a walk around the community are meaningful ways to pause. This can also look like journaling, meditating, grounding exercises and so many other little techniques! One of my personal favorites when I’m sitting in bed is to just think of one word or phrase to sum up my day or where I’m at right now.
You Know Yourself Best: Be Mindful of When You May be Reaching Your Full Capacity
John Kabat-Zinn, the creator of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction defined mindfulness as “paying attention in the present moment in a non-judgemental way” and he breaks it down with six key ideas (Bullock, 2016). In a nutshell, I have summarized these six key ideas1 below:
- Recognize your recurrent or repeated response tendencies
- Notice how your perceptions, way of communicating and stories impact others
- Listening over the urge to immediately respond
- Fully listen to what someone has to say rather than responding right away with a personal reflection, a solution, criticism or judgement
- Reframing communication through the lens of an observer not an evaluator
- Notice and acknowledge what signs our body is sending us and taking a step back before reacting
Let’s break down two of those key ideas in more detail:
Setting an intention to pause and notice your automatic, habitual patterns of response. During periods of high stress, we have a tendency to deny and block out the ability to feel negative emotions and over time, we may or may not notice a pattern of engaging in the same, general tendencies. This is a subtle internal process but recognizing this pattern can be so powerful to acknowledge in times of stress.
Recognizing signs when you are stressed or overwhelmed and intentionally taking a step back to regulate before responding in a way that could be harmful or not intended. Our body constantly sends us different signs and messages, telling us to fight or flight from our sympathetic nervous system or rest-digest from our parasympathetic nervous system as well as emotional, physical and behavioural signs. Listen to these signs! They are there for a reason…You know yourself and your body best.
Practice Presence in the Here and Now
Do you sometimes find yourself multitasking between what seems like ten things at the same time and you find it challenging to be fully present? You are definitely not alone! Let me introduce you to the concept of “One-Mindfully” (Linehan, 2015). The idea of One-Mindfully is one of the core components to DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) and is key to the psychological and spiritual traditions of mindfulness (Linehan, 2015). One-mindfully encourages that just for right now, try to be present in what you are doing, taking it one thing at a time (Linehan, 2015).
A book called “The Power of Pause: Becoming More by Doing Less” describes the consequence in “hurrying” as we become so focused on the destination that we see and hear only what we want to (Hershey, 2011). However, when we pause, we can explore things beyond this tunnel vision, we see or hear things as they are, not as we expect them to be (Hershey, 2011). This practice invites the opportunity to notice any desires to multitask while encouraging you to go back to the one thing you were focused on (Linehan, 2015). The book describes this practice with different examples such as, when you are eating, actually eat, or when you are remembering, actually remember (Linehan, 2015).
Recognize the Expectations While Transforming Your End of Year Checklist to a Flexible Guide
The end of the year can feel like a marathon as we try to fill so much into each day, racing to the finish line. While reading a little passage from “The Power of Pause: Becoming More by Doing Less”, I was reminded that most traditions recognize that we as humans, have the ability to hold a “doing” space and a “being” space (Hershey, 2011). Moreover, in the “doing” space, we work, produce and accomplish and in the “being” space, we carve out time to rest, pray, sleep and wonder (Hershey, 2011). Often, these marathons can feel like a mandatory checklist that we need to complete but being able to create space for both the “doing” part and the “being” part is necessary (Hershey, 2011).
I hope these tips are something that we can all take into the last few weeks of the year. Whether December is a joyful time of the year for you or one that is more challenging, I hope these tips can serve as a gentle reminder to try and take a pause, give yourself grace and remember that you have the strength to overcome these last few hurdles before starting a new year.
You don’t have to face this challenge alone. Contact us if you would like to speak with one of our counsellors.
References:
1 Bullock, G. B. (2016). Taking a Purposeful Pause. Mindful Relationships: Seven Skills for Success (pp. 107-113). Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
2 Hershey, T. (2011). The Power of Pause: Becoming More by Doing Less. Loyola Press.
3 Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets (2nd ed.). The Guilford Press.
by Andrew Neufeld | Dec 22, 2015 | Articles
Holiday Stress Getting You Down?
Are you getting bogged down by holiday stress? I have a confession to make – holidays stress me out if I’m not careful. What is designed to be a time of joy, spending time with friends and family, and recuperating from a busy year can quickly morph into the Holiday Monster that seems to mimic the energizer bunny and just keep going, and going, and going…
Here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to be this way. The holidays can still be what what they were designed to be: a time of great joy and connecting with others. For some, however, the holidays can also be a time of sadness for those who have lost loved ones, or perhaps don’t have family or friends nearby. Or difficult for those who are struggling with their own mental, physical, or emotional health issues that don’t take a break just because Santa’s coming to town.
So, I give you my Top 3 ways to avoid holiday stress and the impending burnout.
1. Accept the busyness of the season.
Sometimes we imagine the holiday season to be a blissful, paradise of tranquility that can only be seen in a Thomas Kinkade painting. This is amplified when you add children’s programs at school, children’s programs at church, holiday parties at work places (which is often multiple for many families), holiday parties with friends, family get togethers – you get the idea. If you’ve been reading and saying, “Yes,” to each of these events, it’s no wonder you feel frazzled and tired. It really is a lot to take in – and a lot to do in a short period of time.
We have a choice. We can give in to the holiday stress and become frazzled, anxious, upset, and even bitter; or, we can choose what Marsha Linehan, the founder of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy calls Radical Acceptance and accept that despite all of our best intentions, the holidays are often extremely busy, that this is our reality, and stop fighting against this fact.
2. Choose to be present, and choose what to be present for.
When we feel overwhelmed, we often dissociate. I’m not talking dissociation in the sense of losing all sense of reality (although it may feel like that sometimes), but more along the lines of hanging out at the food table far too long, drinking far too much eggnog, staring blankly at the wall, or looking at our phones/tablets constantly – all in an effort to avoid connecting with how overwhelmed we are, and further, having to connect with someone else while we’re in this state. So how do we choose to be present in the midst of feeling overwhelmed?
Breathe. There, I said it. If you actually pay attention to your breathing patterns you’ll likely notice that as soon as your stress levels rise, you stop breathing properly. Our brain needs oxygen to survive, and if we deprive it of this, it has a hard time thinking and processing leading us to feel even more overwhelmed. If you’re overwhelmed, take a moment and breathe. Notice the air passing through your mouth or nose, into your lungs, and focus on that and nothing else. Even one minute of doing this can be enough to bring you back to the present, and being present in the moment.
Part of having the ability to be present, means choosing what to be present for. We can’t do it all, even though we may feel we can, or even want to. If we want to be present while we’re with others, sometimes it means choosing not to go to certain events, or participate in certain activities so that we don’t become overwhelmed and can actually enjoy what we’re doing and who we’re with. Surprisingly, if we choose not to attend a function or two the earth does not stop spinning on its axis.
3. Be mindful of the true meaning of the holidays.
It’s easy to lose sight of what we are celebrating and get caught up in the holiday stress and mayhem. Regardless of what you are celebrating, it pays to focus on the original intent of the celebration as a reminder of why we are doing what we are doing. In Judaism, Hanukkah, in general terms, celebrates the rededication of the temple after years of oppression – a triumph of light over darkness; Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus, a symbol of peace for Christians; and Kwanzaa celebrates African-American life and culture and all three involve lots of good food, and gift-giving.
By being mindful of the true meaning of the holidays, we can help ourselves focus on why we celebrate, and why we participate in all the events that we do each holiday season. And, if we play our cards right, we may just enjoy ourselves, spend time with loved ones, celebrate another year passing and a New Year coming. From all of us at Alongside You, we wish you and your loved ones a wonderful holiday season, and only the best in the coming New Year.
– Andrew for the team at Alongside You
