Pressure on Children: How to be a Supportive Sports Parent

Pressure on Children: How to be a Supportive Sports Parent

As parents, we try to support and guide our children in every way possible. Unfortunately, what parents tend to think is supportive can sometimes emanate significant amounts of pressure. Parents often want their child to be the best and inherit the mindset that their child will be the next Wayne Gretzky. When a sports parent thinks this way, it can affect their parent-child relationship. As an athlete, you want your parents to be proud and express their validation towards you. If a child feels like their sports parents aren’t proud, their words and actions are frequently perceived with pressure.  This is why it is crucial to understand what may hurt your child instead of what may benefit your child’s involvement in sports.

Three things that hurt your child’s confidence

1. Expressing appraisal ONLY when they are doing well

It is essential that you are constantly being supportive no matter the outcome of your child’s performance. Regardless of whether they make a good play or make a mistake, your support should remain constant. Giving your child support no matter the circumstances will show them that you are proud of them despite the outcome. When they look over at you and see you cheering for them, it displays direct approval and encouragement.  What if they look over and see you are unhappy or distracted by your phone? It may make them feel like you are disappointed in them. You may not think that your child notices your presence in the stands, but really, they are.

The correct approach would be to exude positive energy and cheering, even when nothing is happening. Do not make your supportive habits dependent on your child’s performance.

2. Telling your child how they could have done better on the car ride home

The car ride home is always a challenging situation. As an athlete who pressured themselves, I was already upset with myself if I had a bad performance. I definitely didn’t need to hear my parents say to me, “you should have done this.” Or “what happened on that one play where you made a mistake?” It would make me even more disappointed in myself than I already was. As sports parents, it is crucial to support and encourage your child without interfering. It is essential to focus on the positive attributes of their game instead of constantly reminding your child of what they did wrong.

3. Stop delivering clichés

Parents often believe that speaking in clichés is suitable for their child, but it does the opposite for kids. For example, if your child is getting worked up in games because of a mistake they made, it probably is best to avoid making certain remarks. Avoid statements such as “stop overthinking’ or “when you are out there, you have to be focused.” Most likely, the child is already trying to accomplish these things. Still, it’s not something that will immediately help them after you tell them to. Telling your child these clichés can develop into pressurization. It might make them believe that they are not doing a good job. Instead of saying these clichés, it would be more beneficial to say something like, “nice effort, you will get the next one!”

Here are some ways you as a sports parent can support your child when playing sports.

1. Provide emotional support

No matter the outcome of your child’s performance, it is vital to prioritize and provide unconditional love. Whether it is giving your child a hug or a high five after the game or telling them how proud of them you are, a little goes a long way. This is crucial after a game where the player may feel like they had a bad performance. Hearing how proud their parent is will make your child feel better. This will give your child the affirmation that being proud of them is not wholly dependent on their play.

2. Emphasize the importance of effort over outcome

Often, we think of the end result as the ultimate achievement instead of understanding the progress made. There is a lot of hard work that has to be done to reach an end result. If children constantly think about the outcome instead of thinking in the moment, it can become detrimental to their performance. When you put too much emphasis on a final product or winning, it can cause the child to feel pressure or anxiety because of you. This is why it’s more productive for a sports parent to focus more on the child’s efforts and relate their efforts to success. For example, after a game, tell your child, “I really liked how you hustled in and out of the dugout” or “you made a great effort on that one play. ”

3. Encourage independence

It is crucial for you as a sports parent to be involved in your child’s sports. Still, it is also important that your child is allowed to pursue their own independence. It’s okay for you to have boundaries and set rules. Still, when your child is involved in sports, it is beneficial for your child to gain independence within these boundaries you set. This is how your child learns to hold themselves accountable and grow in their independence. For example,  you may tell your child that “you must always be prepared for practices.” Instead, tell your child, “I will be home to drive you to your game, but you must be ready to go when I get home.” This compels your child to get themselves prepared for their practice or game without your assistance. Altering how you give your child direction may fuel the desire for them to embrace independence.

4. Communicate and share goals

Open communication is vital when guiding your child through sports. Developing the habit of solid communication between you and your child will provide an understanding of how you can better support your child. This will also allow the child to express what they want from you as a sports parent. Ensure you are regularly checking in with your child by asking them how they are doing with their sports. Allow your child to make goals for themselves instead of you making them for them. This encourages children to be independent and control what they want out of the sports they play.

5. Behave in a way that your children want you to before, during, and after a game/practice

Strong communication between you and your child will help strengthen your relationship. This allows your child to express what they want from you before, during, and after a game. Every child is different, so it is important to understand the likes and dislikes of your child and how you can better support them through that. For example, your child may be nervous before a game and want your help with relaxing. During a game, your child may not like it when you approach the dugout and tell them something they need to do. Because of this action, your child may not want to talk about the game or express openness regarding the game’s events.

If you need help guiding your child through sports in a supportive way, book an appointment today with us at Alongside You. We can help you strive to have a strong relationship with your child!

How One Local Business Chose to Make Immediate Impact in Finding Cures for Rare Diseases

Alongside You at Rare Finds YVR event

 

rare disease foundation

 

DELTA, British Columbia, May 2, 2017 — On April 8th, 2017, the Rare Finds YVR: Feast for the Senses event took place. $111,000 was raised in support of the Rare Disease Foundation in its mission to help Canadians living with rare diseases. Andrew and Meg Neufeld, co-owners of the award-winning health agency, Alongside You, were in attendance.

“Life is full of challenges. Help me understand mine.” – Max

As Andrew and Meg stared at this quote during the gala, it made them ponder the question: How well do we, as Canadians, understand the needs of this crowd that has often been overlooked by the public?

Meg grew up with an identical twin sister with a rare form of dwarfism and profound hearing loss. From an early age, they knew they were rare: 1 of 7 in the world at the time. Through their journey as a family, their father co-founded the Rare Disease Foundation with friends and colleagues and set out to change the course of research and treatment for rare diseases

Throughout their professional lives, Meg and Andrew have been intimately involved in supporting families, many of whom struggle with health conditions, including rare diseases. As pleased as they are to be able to provide support to individuals and families through the health disciplines at Alongside You, they know that the work of the Rare Disease Foundation has the potential to change health outcomes for individuals with rare diseases, and greatly relieve stresses on their families by identifying rare conditions and developing treatments — a chance to impact the individuals and families much earlier on in life and be proactive against many of the stresses these families face.

This is why supporting the Rare Disease Foundation is so important to them — because their awareness of the impact isn’t just professional, it’s family.

In order to participate in the mission of furthering Rare Disease awareness, Alongside You was involved with the Rare Finds Gala in several profound ways. They have donated gift baskets of art supplies and classes at their studio — a safe and comfortable environment for anyone of any age, diagnosis, or ability to experiment with different art mediums. They have also donated a Birkman Assessment and coaching session package through Immerse Consulting, a subsidiary of Alongside You.

But that is only the tip of the iceberg. Alongside You is also a proud provider of a $3,500 Microgrant to the Rare Disease Foundation. The microgrant program provides a small amount of funding ($3,500) that must accomplish a specific research goal and directly improve patient care.

“The grant will go to researchers eager to solve problems for today’s patients in just 4 weeks’ time,” according to the Rare Disease Foundation.

This is why Alongside You, as a local business, believes that any small- to medium-sized businesses can make an immediate impact on finding cures for rare diseases. They sincerely hope that their story would encourage fellow small business owners to take action, and provide microgrants to support the wonderful things the Rare Disease Foundation is doing for millions of Canadians affected by rare disorders.

 

About Rare Disease Foundation

Founded in 2008, the Rare Disease Foundation is a registered charitable organization supporting rare disease research internationally, with a majority of that research taking place in Canada.

Their Vision and Mission is to revolutionize rare disease care through the creation of communities of patients, caregivers, healthcare providers, researchers and supporters working together to transform the lives of those living with rare disease.

 

About Alongside You

Alongside You is an award-winning, integrated health agency in the heart of Ladner, BC, and they serve a wide range of clientele in Ladner, Delta, Vancouver, Richmond, Surrey, Langley and surrounding areas. They provide accessible health care to anyone in their communities, because people matter.

If you would like more information about what Alongside You is doing in the community, please contact Andrew Neufeld at 604.283.7827 ext. 701, Meg Neufeld at ext. 703, or email them at info@alongsideyou.ca.

 

Friday Night Knitting Club – June 17, 2016

friday night knitting club

 

 

Friday Night Knitting Club Is Back!

Friday, June 17th, 2016 from 7:00 pm to 10:00 pm

The fourth Friday Night Knitting Club event is this Friday at our offices! If you’re not sure what the Friday Night Knitting Club is, you’re missing out! You’re invited to a casual evening of knitting and socializing in the heart of Ladner Village! If you have always wanted to try knitting, want to hang out while working on one of your pieces, or would like to share your stories and skills with others, this is the place for you! Bring your own yarn and needles or purchase yarn for $6 and needles for $1. Guidance for beginners will be available.

Admission is by donation. Coffee and tea will be provided, bring a treat to share if you like! Hope to see you there!

If you’d like to read the book that started it all, you can get a copy at Black Bond Books and mention this event to receive 10% off. Or, click here to buy your Kindle edition online in time for the event!

No tickets necessary, but if you’d like to let us know you’re coming, please let us know on our Facebook Event page, by clicking here!

All proceeds go toward our Step Forward Program, providing financial assistance to clients who may need some additional help subsidizing our services.

 

 

Friday Night Knitting Club - May 13, 2016 - 7pm-10pm

Friday Night Knitting Club – May 13, 2016

friday night knitting club

 

 

Friday Night Knitting Club Is Back!

Friday, May 13th, 2016 from 7:00 pm to 10:00 pm

The fourth Friday Night Knitting Club event is this Friday at our offices! If you’re not sure what the Friday Night Knitting Club is, you’re missing out! You’re invited to a casual evening of knitting and socializing in the heart of Ladner Village! If you have always wanted to try knitting, want to hang out while working on one of your pieces, or would like to share your stories and skills with others, this is the place for you! Bring your own yarn and needles or purchase yarn for $6 and needles for $1. Guidance for beginners will be available.

Admission is by donation. Coffee and tea will be provided, bring a treat to share if you like! Hope to see you there!

If you’d like to read the book that started it all, you can get a copy at Black Bond Books and mention this event to receive 10% off. Or, click here to buy your Kindle edition online in time for the event!

No tickets necessary, but if you’d like to let us know you’re coming, please let us know on our Facebook Event page, by clicking here!

All proceeds go toward our Step Forward Program, providing financial assistance to clients who may need some additional help subsidizing our services.

 

 

Friday Night Knitting Club - May 13, 2016 - 7pm-10pm

Friday Night Knitting Club – April 15, 2016

friday night knitting club

 

Friday Night Knitting Club Is Back!

Friday, April 15th, 2016 from 7:00 pm to 10:00 pm

You asked for it, we’re responding! Due to popular demand, we’re holding our third Friday Night Knitting Club event at our offices! If you’re not sure what the Friday Night Knitting Club is, you’re missing out! You’re invited to a casual evening of knitting and socializing in the heart of Ladner Village! If you have always wanted to try knitting, want to hang out while working on one of your pieces, or would like to share your stories and skills with others, this is the place for you! Bring your own yarn and needles or purchase yarn for $6 and needles for $1. Guidance for beginners will be available.

Admission is by donation. Coffee and tea will be provided, bring a treat to share if you like! Hope to see you there!

If you’d like to read the book that started it all, you can get a copy at Black Bond Books and mention this event to receive 10% off. Or, click here to buy your Kindle edition online in time for the event!

No tickets necessary, but if you’d like to let us know you’re coming, please let us know on our Facebook Event page, by clicking here!

All proceeds go toward our Step Forward Program, providing financial assistance to clients who may need some additional help subsidizing our services.

 

Friday Night Knitting Club - February 19, 2016 - 7pm-10pm

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